Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Substitute Part DUH

Okay so I was pegged to sub this Monday and Tuesday at the same Jr. High from last week. Well, excitement seems to follow me, and yesterday this school went on lock down due to some kids bringing guns to school. Great. I was locked down with a 9th grade homeroom with nothing to do in a math teacher's class. I mean these kids were bored. Also, apparently the kids are allowed to have cell phones but are not supposed to use them. At the mention of "lock down" kids started text messaging their parents so after the incident was over every 5 mins there was an announcement requesting kids to be sent to the office for parents picking them up.

Okay so the excitement doesn't end there. NOOOOO, today as I arrive at school, I discover there was a bomb threat called in to the central office and students were delayed on the buses until the building was checked. I didn't see a bomb squad doing this though. The principal had the teachers here already check the rooms. Go figure.

Oh and by the way, the guns, yeah they were here on campus in the garbage but thankfully they didn't work. Both kids involved were arrested. One of them was already on suspension. Hooey, and I was thinking of starting the process to teach full time.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Great Run, hungh?

So once in my pre-g life I was a runner. I trained for 4 marathons and actually completed 2. The first one I ran in Memphis in 2000. Then I trained for the next year's run but due to double ear infection and sinus stuff (Yes I am a weenie with the sickness stuff) I didn't run it at all. The next one I ran in Nashville and had coaxed a co-worker into running it with me (so I wouldn't have to train alone), and we both completed that one (she much faster than me). Nashville in 2002 was her first and my (so far) last.

The next one we (same friend and me) trained for was San Diego in 2004. Due to a stress fracture about two weeks outside of the race, I couldn't run it. However, with tickets bought, I accompanied this same friend and her hubby to San Diego to support her run. So far she hasn't had time to train for another marathon though; she is still running, and I haven't run again...until today.

While I waited for referral and travel etc. I took the time to let my leg heal completely so that I would be able to get back into the running after bringing G. While I was home with her last Aug., I would put her in the stroller and walk with my neighbor, you know build up to running, except for G. The thing was, she hated being in the stroller with a WHITE HOT PASSIONATE HATE and eyes that screamed terror. Okay, so we won't stroll in the stroller. I started carrying her in a body carrier instead.

Well, I got rid of that jogging stroller with the clear intentions of getting another this past spring to try again. I couldn't store that stroller due to something broken in the fold down thing-a-ma-jiggy. Anyway, I switched occupations and failed to come up with income to pay the normal bills much less buy a jog stroller. I just never got back into it.

Here is the other thing, I am currently reading a book about the 6 styles of procrastination (more depth in another post). I am a procrastinator and a perfectionist. So that combination is not very good. See, if I can't do it (whatever that "it" may be) 100% immediately then I don't try. My house is never neat and tidy and I hate to clean it because my idea of perfect will not be met by me so why try? I know I know.

When this perfectionistic procrastination is applied to running, see, I can't run a marathon right now so why try. This is something that has held me back from a lot of things and potential accomplishments in my life. I don't want to put forth the effort and fail so why try. I realize that I didn't run a marathon my first day of running so why do I think I should be able to do that now? I had to work up to running the first mile and I will have to re-do that training now. I guess because I did eventually run one that I feel that now I should be able to do so.

But today I took the step to start, and I walked/ran around the block. The day is one of those perfect days for running, low 60s, windy not too humid, YEEHAW. Okay, so it felt good to get out there. I think I will try to keep this up even if it means getting a stroller on credit. Maybe G is old enough to enjoy it now??? I also need to invest in a good pair of running shoes again.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


This week I spent a day and a half as a substitute teacher. Not so bad since the teachers had given them busy work to do. Mostly I just read books. Great for me but too bad for the kids. I always hated busy work when I was in school.

It is truly amazing how kids that age really think you never were. They also think they are grown. What an oxymoron junior highers are. On the one hand they are just children growing up in a very tough environment. Hormones raging and not really clear instructions on what to do with them. Shucks, honestly at 30something I am not sure what to do with them sometimes. Then these kids are expected to act grown up not be silly, understand and act appropriately for each and every situation. What a tough life. I would never go back to that age again, EVER.

Anyway for my trouble I made a whopping $75. Not really enough to pay anything at all. I also won't actually get the check until the end of the month I think. Oh well.

Next week I start another temp assignment working with a company to up grade their computer system generated from the HR module. I haven't any experience with this specific program but I think I can learn it and fix the issue. I am just not sure they will let me have the time it will take to do it right. We will see. Maybe next Thursday, maybe not. This will be two and a half weeks of no paycheck though.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Mickles and more

G is fascinated by body parts which I suppose is normal for this age. She has discovered her "mickles" (nipples) recently. She asked me what those were and since I have decided to call all body parts the correct name when she asks, I told her. Her interpretation of what I said however is not quite the right term but hey, she is only 2. She also wanted to pull her mickles off and I told her that would hurt and they are attached like her belly button. Now she wants to see them even after she is dressed and tells me I covered them up with her shirt. Finally, I told her that her mickles should always stay covered.

She calls her bottom, bobum and other bobum. She hasn't asked specifically so I haven't labeled all parts for her. There is no daddy or boys here in the house so I don't have to label the boy parts at all, whew!! Well, at least not yet.

Something came up the other morning about dresses and I said, "Girls wear dresses and boys wear pants." Then I thought about that one since she was in pants and I modified it to, "Girls can wear pants but boys never wear dresses." We will see how long that definition in the difference in boys and girls lasts.

No job offers yet. No offers on the house yet. Substitute "teaching" at the junior high all day tomorrow. YEEHAW! Facing bratty prepubescent boys and girls, that is my idea of fun!! I will let you all know how it goes. I knew there was a reason I didn't go into the teaching profession.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Photos of G

First photo: G in her Chinese robe looking a lot like a two year old Elvis.

Second photo: G and mom leaving the zoo.

Third photo: G and her biting bear.


So this is the conversation I hear my child have with her bear this morning as I was getting dressed:

G: Do you hear me? Do you hear me, bear? Don't bite me.

Bear: silence

G: you go time out. Do you hear me?

I guess I better watch what I say. I happen to be a screamer. I need to learn how to just mark off the punishment without harping on it so much!!

So lessoned learned I hope. I will start watching what I say around her.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Stuck at home

Okay, so the gas company is coming to turn the gas on here at the new house. I was told they would be here between noon and five. I haven't had an urge to get out of the house to do anything this morning until now and it is 12:38pm. So now I can think of a million places I NEED to be or errands I NEED to run right now.

I can't stand being forced to be in my house by anything other than my own desire to be here. This is just a part of the rebellious me. Car's in the shop? Yep I need it to go somewhere right now. Stay home and wait for something important? Yep, now I have a very important apt. I must make, on and on.

Plus what makes this worse is that I am currently unemployed or at least working through a temp agency and with my wonderful skills (HR) I am not very marketable so no assignment this week. YUCK!! SCARY!!

I left a very high paying, high stress, highly abusive job in March of this year to strike out on my own (insurance sales) and failed miserably. So after going through all of my life savings, I am reduced to begging help from my parents who are glad to give it with strings attached (to be expected). This would be a livable situation if I were in my 20s and childless but as it is I am 36, feeling aimless, and with child (not technically but G, you know).

I have a house in Memphis that I am trying to sell (realtor involved not alone) but no takers. When it sells I will owe my parents about $10,000 for help and current/back rent as the house we are living in is owned by them.

Anyway, on the one hand I would love to work but I have such limited restrictions that no one really wants me. I don't want to spend 50 hours away from G during the week!!

I am looking into a home based business that doesn't rely on friend and family networking which is one reason I don't stay consistent with Tupperware or Mary Kay or Arbonne. Too many opportunities to make friends mad with persistent "please have a party" requests.

So I guess the rest of this afternoon I will just wait. WAIT. WAIT.

Maybe I will find some other good photos of G to post. She is such a cutie but not very cooperative when it comes to having her photo taken.

Quit that whining

Okay so G woke up in a very whiny mood this morning and as female myself I sure know what those days are like. Of course, knowing this you would think I would be a bit sympathetic? Oh no. Not at all. Actually, it was on my last nerve.

"Quit that whining!" has become a common phrase heard round our house. My mother asked what she was whining about so I will share with you too:

"No me, mama."
"Where's bue bear, mama."
"I done potty...I wanna tee tee." (same potty episode by the way, no waiting between.)
"I wanna har bow, mama."
"I need jooooce, mama."
"I want bantie, mama."
"Go git udder bear, mama."
"No, not cuub cheese, white cheese; no, not white cheese, flat cheese mama."

And on and on ad naseum!! This was all in a span of about 45 mins. I hope I get a note that says she was sick all day and that would explain the whining but I don't think I will. She saves the whining for me at home normally when I am in a rush just to add the added and appropriate level of guilt.

The joys, JOYS, I say of motherhood.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Anticipation of the bonfire and roasted marshmallow mom is making.

mother step and hontas, oh my

So G has discovered the Disney Princesses. Specific favorite right now is Cinnoreno. We have watched it everynight that we have been home this week. I even put it in this morning after she was dressed so I could get ready.

From out of no-where I hear her crying hysterically. When I get there she has tears streaming and is in full cry mode. I pick her up and then I realize that it is the Pochahontas commercial on the Cinderella tape that has upset her.

She "no wike hontas, mama." Then I held her through the introduction of Cinderella because the "mother step get me, mama." She told me that last night when the wicked step mother came on the screen so I knew she would be afraid this morning.

Also, I am seeing in G now the ability to empathize. She gets very upset when Cinderella is scolded by the "mother step". It is amazing to watch her gain this insight. She is actually feeling for the characters. Sometimes I see her do this with the animals too. She doesn't do this so much with mama. Actually, she can be very not nice to me.

Last night (rather early this morning) she got herself sideways in bed, as usual, and started kicking me wanting me to move. Well, she lands direct kicks and is semi aware of what she is doing. I think she wakes herself up doing it and keeps on. So this time I pushed her legs away from me and told her to stop kicking. This particular time she started crying, "mama, you make me cry." I rubbed her back and told her I was sorry that I made her cry but she needed to stop kicking me because it hurt.

Then this morning when I carried her into breakfast and set her in her seat; I bent down to ask what she wanted to eat. Well, she whacked me in the face. I stood up and told her that hurt and that she shouldn't hit me. I got her rice that I had made in the wonderful rice cooker overnight and some juice then I sat to eat my cereal. She never apologized for hitting me and she was a bit clingy this morning. Maybe she had a bad dream or didn't forgive me for making her stop kicking me. I don't know. I hope it is just testing boundaries and it will stop soon.

PS about the wonderful rice cooker, I was trying to make congee and the last two attempts (same rice and peas) made them quite dry. Finally, I added two more cups of water and started it again and voila, real congee. I then put it in tupperware containers and set it in the fridge for later. I figured this is still comfort food for her and she really did use to like it. Plus it is warm and we are heading into winter.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Harvest Moon Festival

Saturday was a big and busy day for us. I failed miserably taking pictures of the morning but both of my cousins and their children came as well as a friend from gmark and my old next door neighbor. The kids had a blast playing in the jumper. G had more fun when everyone was gone just jumping with her our old neighbor, Sam. The number of kids was quite overwhelming to her I think. She really closed down to them.

She had spent the night with Grammie and Grandad and (related by my mom) said, "I not see mama agin?" Grammie's heart broke and Grandad explained how she would be taken home the next morning for the jumper party. This comment explains what happened at the party. As I was showing my cousins around the house, G and a younger cousin were coloring on the chalk board. I didn't think much of it so I closed the door to that room keeping the cats out of their way. About that time another friend comes through and then I hear "she's right here, here is your mama." G is hysterical. When we were alone in the kitchen later, she looked at me and said, "you weft me, mama!" Sweet baby girl, Mama will never leave you. I told her I was so sorry that I thought she was coloring and I was showing her/our cousins around.

I guess she is going through something. I don't know.

Later that day we headed out to the FCC Memphis Harvest Moon Festival. G called it the "happy moon festival". This is the biggest event we have and it was a blast. G had the best time. It was held on a farm that has show horses. The horses were great and G even fed them. They were aggressively friendly. Basically if you were by a fence the horse assumed you had something for him so he sniffed you to see. G wanted the "harsey in her back".

We made lanterns of construction paper cut like fish with the glow sticks in the center. G wanted to keep her glow stick on all night. We had a fight about it because it is a necklace that could choke her. She did keep it in the bed with us all night though.

There was a bon fire with s'mores and all. G had her first roasted marshmellow. I have a picture of it. She didn't really like it though. There was so much food and so many of our friends who are waiting or recently returned or are older. It was a great mix of ages and people.

She fell asleep in her blue jeans, shoes, t-shirk, and jacket. She refused to have any of it removed. I left her that way. I think she wanted to keep wearing the memories of the evening.

Today was a relaxing day with Grammie and Grandad. She fell asleep tonight at 8:30pm. Wish I could have.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Whine, Whine, Whine

Just re-read the last post. Sorry it was very whiney. I sound like a two year old. I must say these days are rare. I love being a mom and being mom to such a sweetie as my G is best. Generally, things go smoother at the M house. We just had a busy two days and will have a busy weekend.

**Note to self: Learn to control stress and don't scream!!

I will say if I could get paid to blog or to read blogs then I would work from home and life would be to my liking. I am going to do something other than go into an office all day but I don't know what yet. I still am in the market for something that doesn't take more than 4 hours a day and something that I can jump into with both feet immediately not 4 hours extra on top of a 40+ hour work week.

Anyhoo, I find this blog world fascinating with fascinating people on it. Soon I will figure out how to link the blog favorites of mine so readers can enjoy them too. I don't know if I will be able to do it but we shall try. I have several very funny sites I visit daily. Mostly, they are adoption sites but some are pure motherhood sites. Of course these are the mothers I wish to be SAHMs.

Oh a girl can dream can't she?

perfect mother?NOT--My morning

It really sucks being raised by a perfect mother. My mom had 4 kids, and this morning she told me that she was NEVER late to work EVER, neither she nor dad. This came up because she called to tell me about a fire in downtown Memphis that could affect traffic, since I hadn't had the news on. I said, "well I guess I will just be late". So she said, "leave earlier". YEA RIGHT!!

There is no leaving earlier unless the night before it is planned. I can't get up in the morning and just decide to "leave earlier". G didn't go to bed before 10:30 last night and then she slept in this morning. I am out of milk for cereal so I had to scramble eggs for breakfast of which she didn't eat, and only after she put so much pepper on hers that I ate hers and she wasted mine. My mouth is still burning from the pepper.

Now I am sitting here at work wondering why my head is hurting and my nose is stuffed up then I remember "oh the fire downtown". It is the smoke I can smell and now I am in pain. I have faxed my time sheet already (temp assignment) or I would have said, "Just let me go home." I also left my employee/contract badge in the car because last night I changed procedures and put it in the console as to not forget it. Well I forgot it; I should never change. So now at lunch when I go pay my MLGW bill I have to go get the badge from the console and turn in this temp badge.

What a day. Oh and G had two melt downs before bed last night because she was tired and mom let me know that it was because she was tired. From this I hear, "you are a bad mother for not getting your daughter to bed at a reasonable hour, you let her be tired." And this morning I was so stressed trying not to be late I was screaming like a banshee trying to get us both moving out the door. I won't get to see her until tomorrow since she is spending the night with the grandparents so now we have parted on poor terms. Or so my guilt ridden frame feels. If something happens to me it can screw her psyche up for life and she won't even remember why!!

So, how is your morning?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Being silly with my Dandad

Doesn't she have a great smile. She likes to hang upside down in your lap in her towel after bath time and this particular night Grandad started tickling her. "Again" she would say when he would stop to let her catch her breath.

Her Grandad is her favorite person in the whole world I think.

Helping feed the dog

Everynight we feed the dog and cats. Sometimes I feed the cats and sometimes I feed the dog. G tells me what I am going to feed. This particular time she fed the dog.

As Promised our buddha painting

Uncanny isn't it.

Not much going on rambling

There isn't a lot going on at the M house so far. This weekend we will have a lot to do. Saturday morning we are having some friends over for a Harvest Moon Playdate in the Jumper.

Last night G and I watched Cinnereno and pudding painted. I made the mistake of showing her how to blot paint by folding the paper with paint in the middle. Now that is all she wants to do. She doesn't finger paint anymore.

One thing about G, if you ever do something that she enjoys she remembers it forever and will only do it that way.

On the potty front she will tee tee in the potty for me but the other bigger job she won't. Oh and she is fascinated by human or cat excrement. She just wants to see it either in her diaper, in the toilet or in the cat boxes. Thankfully, the dog goes outside so she isn't as interested.

G is growing so fast. I bought her (cheap) house shoes one is actually grown up like and the other is Elmo that can also be a hand puppet. Clever idea I thought. Well she liked the grown up ones "like Mamma". They look like the buck suede with the fur lining but they were like $4 at the Family Dollar store. I love that place. I told her we would let Grammie and Grandad have the Elmo shoes for her at their house.

G has discovered the Disney Princesses. While watching Cindarella she asks "Where's Cinnereno" every time the scene doesn't have her in it. For Snow White or rather "no white" her comment was "I can't see" when the scene was of other than Snow White. Those two are the only two we have braved. I have Mulan but I am not sure if G is old enough to not be afraid of it.

Pochahontas is a commercial on the Cinderella video and she is pretty interested in that one but I haven't put that one in yet either.

Back to the painting, and I will post a photo of it tonight, one of the blotches literally looks like a sitting buddha with big ears. You never know what you will get with the paintings but this one killed me with laughter. How (in)appropriate for our household. We have a China color book that has a picture of a gold buddha for the color gold (Jeen Suh). G doesn't like it and she tells me that "we no like buddha". I agree with her since it is only a statue not the True God.

Teaching her the Chinese culture against our Christian belief system will be very challenging. In our "My First Chinese New Year" book the little girl and grandad make an alter to honor the ancestors. It will be challenging to discuss the difference between honor and worship in our house. I think I am up for the challenge. She will learn to do things as our family will do them since we aren't of Chinese heritage, of course.

For all I know it wasn't her culture either, just Chinese history and some Chinese culture. I don't know what her foster family practiced and I will never know what her birth family did. I would love to know but haven't a way.

Anyway, on Saturday, after her nap, we will head off to the Harvest Moon Festival for the Families with Chinese Children group. I am eagerly waiting that. This is one of the biggest festivals we have. Pretty much everyone comes to this one. We will get to see some of our travel buddies and waiting family buddies and others who have been home a while and others who are about to leave or just got home. Exciting time and wish you could all be there.

This piece of culture I will enjoy sharing with G as we take this time to remember her foster family and her birth family and the staff at the Wuzhou SWI. After all, we are all looking at the same moon.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Potty training me or her?

So at school my dear daughter will stay dry all day and potty for her teacher Ms. Sarah. But at home, when I ask if she wants to sit on the potty she very rarely does it for me. I put her on the potty in the morning sometimes when she cooperates by saying, "let's not have a wet pull-up when we go to daycare/school." I also only put pull-ups only on her in the morning. She tells me I need to buy more diapers for in the morning too.

At night after bath I put her on the potty before putting on her diaper, and she will let me do that mostly and go for me. But after we get home and through dinner and play, she doesn't ever want to sit on the potty, and honestly I don't want to hear her cry about it. So we aren't consistent at night I guess when it matters most.

Here is the thing, grammie scolded me last night about not being consistent with her. A lot of times I can't be consistent because we are out in public or maybe Grammie or Grandad picked her up not me. Also, when we get home it is a battle just to get dinner ready, and potty is not the first thing on my mind.

I know however that she knows when she has to go and when she has gone, so it isn't a bodily function control issue. It really is a "let's control mommy issue". And I know she will not go to kindergarten in a diaper so I am not all stressed out about it. The other thing is she is able to distinguish between being at school and being with me at home or out. At school there are other kids there who form a peer group for her. At home we have the cats and dogs and in public we don't have anyone.

She also really likes to go to potties when we are out and about, but she then asks me to go. Then she proceeds to touch everything in the stall. This is one of the main reasons I wasn't ready to be potty trained. Oh well, I guess she has to train me sometime, better now than later I guess.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


(top)This is G roaring like a tiger. This is G and her old next door neighbor.
(below) G and G at the Panda exhibit.

Okay so the pictures wouldn't post in the last blog. So I will try again. These are zoo pics from last weekend.

Saturday doctor and Lazy Sunday Afternoon

So today after church G fell asleep in the car then woke up when we got home. This means I don't get a nap and I am a big napper. So instead we have attempted to watch "Cinnarello" and other videos. I attempted to pick up and clean some since I am hosting a play date on Sat.

I am a little sleepy and this will set the tone for the rest of the week. I will be very tired.

G is sipping on her sippy cup and holding her blanket. She calls it a "bantie". She loves her blanket and if it gets lost or torn up we will be in so much trouble.

This weekend she discovered a purple Carebear that she actually received at Christmas from a cousin. She even called it a carebear. Apparently a child in her daycare has one. Well we had a doctor visit yesterday morning due to a rash on her bum and a possible hernia. She packed a "bag" with her purple Carebear and a blue one I had since college/highschool and her monkey to go to the doctor.

On the way though she started telling me she didn't want to go to the doctor. So we stopped by the coffee shop first and then went anyway. Even her bears and monkey couldn't keep her calm in the office. She didn't get a shot or anything. Her dr. gave us samples of a stronger cortisone cream and said he didn't think the spot was a hernia. He didn't know what it was but didn't think it was a hernia. G cried/screamed the whole examination. She was only calm to say bye-bye to the dr.

She is so afraid that they will stick her finger that she can't even go in the exam room without falling apart. Poor baby, I felt terrible for her and the dr.

On other news since her first dr appt to this summer she has gained a whole whopping 7 lbs and grew about 3-4 ins. Cool huh? She is about 27 lbs and 34 inches tall. Her hair is getting a little crazy but still not thick enough nor long enough to keep in a bow out of her face.

Here are some photos of the visit to the zoo last weekend. She loves going to the zoo and so do I. She likes the pandas and actually calls pandas - "zooas" because we would go to the zoo when we first came home and I would say, "lets go to the zoo" and then see the pandas first.

It is really nice to have a very up dated zoo with very realistic exhibits of natural (or as natural as you can get in a zoo) habitat.