Thursday, November 02, 2006

Wasted Days and Restless Nights

So I have literally had nothing but housework to do this week. I hate housework with a passion since it never gets done. I am always washing the same clothes. I am always sweeping the same dirt and animal hair from the same floors. It astounds me that after cleaning the house and sweeping the floors not 30 mins later I have the same c r a p all over again to look at. I know everyone faces this but I CAN'T STAND TO DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, ARRRGH!!!!

I guess I should be fine with the nothing but housework because if and when I start working again I will have to work and do housework. That is just as bad since the housework is always attached. I sit here wishing my life away!!!

No luck on the job front although I have found an interesting home based business that I may check into only because it is about coffee, one of my addictions. I will post more about it when I actually sign up for it and receive my own supply.

Last night it took forever for me to go to sleep. G fell asleep before 10pm for which I am glad. She tells me she will go to sleep "in a minute, Mama." Nice another of my oft repeated phrases. If you are ever curious as to the common phrases you say on a daily basis, just get a toddler; they will repeat everything. G knows to whom I speak on the phone by the conversation I have not necessarily hearing the name. She is absolutely wonderfully smart.

I am in a definite funk of depression right now. It is quite miserable, and I probably shouldn't even be around real people right now. I have a definite tone to everything I say and do, and it is very depressing. It doesn't help that I am listening to sad break up music. I haven't broken up with anyone, but I understand the emotion-depression, frustration, hurt and anger.

On the upside though, yesterday G hung out with me all day and we watched mucho videos. I finally introduced her to Belle of Beauty and the Beast. So now on her pull ups she can identify Belle too. I need to show her Aladdin because she insists that Jasmine is Snow White. Can you say hard headed? Well she is and I don't have a clue where she got that from.

Oh G is yelling back at me now. I know I am not a consistent parent and I should learn to be so. At night she wallows and turns and twists and crawls and talks and, and, and so as not to fall asleep. I start off scolding quietly but finally I blow up and yell "G, get still." Well last night I got "G" out and she yelled back, "WHAT". I think it was a rhetorical question too. I couldn't help but laugh which throws us right back to the beginning. She also told me "no" and got a spanking for it. Then she cried and told me "you make me cry, mama."

Oh well. How many times will she cry before she moves out of the house after college? I would like to think not many, but knowing what growing up is like, I expect a few more tears. Hopefully though I will always be understanding of her hurt feelings and sorrows and will be able to help her grow through those times.

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