Friday, March 02, 2007

adoption: international vs. domestic

Angelina Jolie is now adopting, as a single mom, from Viet Nam. I am sure that the China regulations played a small role in the decision not to adopt from China but maybe not. I am actually glad to see her adopt again.  I think she brings needed attention to the status of orphans and orphanages in the world.

There is a need, even in America, for adoption. It is not more or less difficult to adopt domestically rather than internationally so I don't necessarily advocate one over the other. Domestic adoptions that go badly however do get much more publicity than the ones that are successful. Due to the popular status Jolie has I would doubt very much that domestic would be a good idea for her. Could you imagine some birth mom finding out Jolie is the adoptive mom to her child? Can you say extortion? I am not implying that all birth moms are that immoral or unethical, but a person in a desperate situation might be so inclined to see the 15 minutes of fame as appealing.

Good for AJ to go to Viet Nam. That is where I plan to pursue my second adoption. I decided formally when China became very strict. Those changes saddened me greatly, and I posted about it earlier. I don't blame nor dislike China for implementing the changes it feels would serve the orphan population better, but it is sad for me.

I am sad for the negative publicity Viet Nam is going to get due to the Jolie adoption. I hope it won't change too much before I am able and ready to adopt again. Those media types who have never adopted just can't get the process or rationale right on why people adopt.

I still run across idiotic comments about my adopting G. I was thanked personally by someone yesterday for adopting G. I am sure this person didn't realize what she was saying or how it came across. I am glad G wasn't here to hear her either. I adopted for my own selfish reasons. I wanted to be a mom and didn't want to birth a child. Everyone has their own reasons to pursue adoption. I also wasn't concerned with her looking like me as in being Caucasian and my heart call was to China.

China had/has the most predictable process in that at the very end of the day, there will be a finalized adoption. The money is even predictable. Everyone has the same basic experience. The differences fall in number in travel group, previous personal experience in travel generally, sites to see in different provinces and sometimes overall health of the child.

I think these experiences help those who adopted from China to bond more quickly than other people who have adopted from other countries. I know our local FCC group is a lot tighter knit than the Russian adoption families or Korean adoption families I have met.

Domestic is even extremely different in the hows and whats and whys. Each state rules its own program. Adopting through the DHS program is much less expensive than adopting directly through an agency or the birth mom and lawyers. The problems experienced by some of the children may be extreme or be no issue at all. It is just different. Better or worse, no. All children deserve a family, parents who love them, a place to call their own, and the chance to grow up, so again kudos to A Jolie for her next move. I wish I had her money and could pursue another adoption right now.

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