Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Report of Wu Bao Jiang-aka G

While we were in China, we were given reports on our kiddos from the orphanage. G was in an orphanage sponsored by Half the Sky and was in the foster care program. I finally received the translation of this report and had some misconceptions corrected.

First off, I did know she and her foster mom had a close relationship; however, I assumed there was a grandfather type in the home too to explain her attachment to my dad. G came to us crying for what sounded like Ye Ye. Ye Ye is Mandarin Chinese for maternal grandfather. I assumed that is who she was calling for and she called my dad that even after coming home. So after reading the report, I realized there was no grandad. (Comments #1 and 3 below)

G hated me completely in China and bonded with my dad until well after we returned home. I thought it was because she had known a grandad. Actually, it was because I was replacing her mom, whom she called "YaYa." Also, it seems she called anything comforting "Ya Ya" or what we were hearing "ye ye". Makes sense now. (Comments #1, 2 and 4 below)

Second, I was under the impression that although the foster families knew the babies would be adopted eventually, they would not know who or what type of family was actually adopting the child. Apparently, they are told what the new family is going to be like because this foster mom drew a picture of me and G in the yard of our home for the report. Or actually drew what she hoped our family/home would be like. She drew me as a Chinese woman and G as a little girl. (later posting of the photo of the drawing)

This is sort of sad because my agency refused to allow packages to be sent to the children if they were not 2 years old or older. Not even 2 days short of being 2 years. I complied and did not. I wonder if that foster mother wondered why this new mom didn't send G anything. I have since participated in a digital photo album for the orphanage and sent my own letter and photo album through my agency to the orphanage and foster family. I am not sure if I will receive acknowledgement of their receiving the package. (Comment #5 below)

I did notice that somethings haven't changed with G. She does not smile for photographs taken by anyone other than me. Not one photo attached has her smiling at any age. Also, it took me a long time for her to smile for me. She still does not participate in group activities willingly at first. It takes a long time for her to warm up even if the group is comprised of really good friends. (Comment #3 below)

Also, she doesn't really play with her girl baby dolls and that is all she has, girls. I don't have any boy baby dolls for her. We are extremely diverse in the race and species (think care bears) of the dolls but not so much in the gender. But apparently she really liked her boy baby doll. I think it is interesting that this distinction was made in the report. Never mind that what she brought with her was a very ugly well loved Caucasian blonde doll and a hot pink bunny, no boy baby at all. (Comment #4 below)

Some excerpts from the progress report:

1. "We love each other just like mother and daughter."

2. "Every time when she sees me she says “Ya Ya” and wants me to hug her."

3. "She did not smile much to the other babies. But I know I love her and she loves me. She has played happily with me."

4. "She hugs her boy-baby doll, and kisses it while saying “Ya Ya”."

5. "This is the home that I planned for Bao Jiang. She will have a Mum that LOVES her at her home. I hope you have a good life in the future, Bao Jiang."

Anyway this all choked me up and I was a little sad but thrilled that she wrote such wonderful things in the report. Also, G came to me in pretty good health (bronchitis due to stress after gotcha) and with a perfectly round head. Some of the babies have flat heads in the back which is prized in Chinese culture. She obviously was extremely attached to foster mom (the only one she had after 10 days of being in the orphanage until I came). G doesn't know the significance of this at all yet.

In China we made the (at the time the easiest not best) decision to hide the photos of foster mom and G because of the serious grief. Now she doesn't have a recollection of the foster mom or the bunny she came with (I put that up after one too many attempts by the dog to rip its head off). At the time though I had not only G to worry about buy how G' grief also affected my parents. That was as unbearable to me as G crying.

Oh and my OCD will not allow me to take the pictures off of the report to put them in a proper album. I cannot make that change in the appearance of the original report. I have two reports one is directly from Half the Sky with a few different photos and not such the emotion of the foster mom. Removing the photos to me is like defacing something sacred. But the photos show G as a tiny baby through her first bday. I may take them and have copies made to have framed for G to have pics of herself around the house at different ages.

1 comment: said...

I may have to read this over and over to grasp the totality of it all. You and Glenys are lucky to receive the information. It is fascinating to hear about any events that transpire prior to the making of our families. Our girls were fostered, and loved deeply by an older single woman from what I can ascertain. They did grieve intensely though for a relatively short period of time. Smiles took a long time too. Jazlyne would dare NOT rest her head on our shoulder for over 6 months at home. I was beginning to wonder if she'd ever come around, by then. It melted me when she finally did. Like I was (reluctantly even) accepted as mom. Thinking back, those moments tell us, "you're doing good kid".