Today is an auspicious day in the life of G. Three years ago today she was left across the street from the civil affairs office to be found. She was not a new born but her birthday was a guess. This day is a day to celebrate and mourn. Celebrate that for this reason she came to be my daughter. Her loss is a gain for us both. That is not true for her birth mom, it is a total and complete loss.
It seems in Chinese culture the goal is to continually look forward so I do not think her birth mom dwells on the fact that G was abandoned. I can see this in books I have read and other interviews I have seen with Chinese people. The goal of looking behind is to not repeat mistakes. US culture tends to stay in the guilt of the past and live within that realm.
I guess what I am saying is that I am not going to tell G or wonder myself if her birthmother thinks about her or dwells on her. I will tell G that her birthmother cared enough to give birth to her instead of abort her, hold her for some time or give her to someone for some time, and then have her, G, placed in a very public place to be found. I will not tell her that her birthmother knew or assumed that she would be adopted by an American mom. I can say that her birthmother assumed she would be taken care of by someone.