Tuesday, May 01, 2007

1st Post in May Everyday

Okay, so I didn't actually take this photo but I will post about it, and it has never been on this blog before. It actually was never digital before.

You see this is the first official family photo of me and G. I made her extremely unhappy. Can you tell? This was about 2 hours after the actual gotcha moment. We had gone back to the Majestic Hotel to wait to have our photos taken for the adoption paperwork. I chose to leave G in her clothes even though they were not familiar clothes to her. All the babies were put in new clothing for the trip to meet the new families.

Actually leaving her in the clothing wasn't really of my choosing more like hers in that if I touched her she screamed and cried heart wrenching cries. So therefore by default she is not in her cutsie adoption outfit for the photo. Some families did that and I just shook my head, mostly out of jealousy and partly out of, "Don't you know your child is in shock if they aren't crying?" thoughts.

After this pic I quickly handed her back off to the grandad (my parents traveled with me) because no one, and I mean NO ONE, wanted her to cry. I have had this picture hidden for a long time, but no more. I will not hide the fact that G was so scared and afraid and little and hated me. It isn't anything to hide. Never was actually. She couldn't help how she felt. She was as confused as anyone would be.

G sees it now and says, "I didn't wike my mama and my Gammie in China?" And I tell her nope. Then she says, "Well, I wike my mama and my Gammie now." As if saying that makes up for not liking us then, and you know what? It does.

This month is our 2 year anniversary of referral. Actual date is May 23, 2005. So all of this reminiscing is due to the nearness of our referral and family/gotcha/metcha day. I still haven't a name for it.

5 comments:

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Bev isn't it amazing though how they do evolve and begin to trust and love us? Our girls both cried (and cried) for several hours. If they hadn't I would have thought there was something wrong. We took them from the only home they knew. They were just babies too! But it did just about break my heart. Awww, man gets me all teary eyed thinking back.

Glad to hear your dad is out of surgery.

crazylady said...

There is nothing to hide Bev. The fact that our children grieved and mourned should let you know that they loved someone dearly. We are all vulnerable inside. I think you're awesome for posting that photo with your candid thoughts. More people will feel reassured that this is really how it happens and that it works out. Also thinking about your dad. I tol' ya I know a connection 'upstairs' and it's gonna be fine.
Sen

Monica said...

What a precious photo! My oldest daughter was teary-eyed in every photo for the first THREE days. It is just heartbreaking to look at her sad little eyes in those earliest photos. I'm so glad you shared that photo with us! It is precious!

BTW I made a personalized "button" linking to your blog for the May event...it is in my blogs right top side-bar. Hope lots of folks click on it and wind up here!

crazylady said...

BTW, it's nice to see pics of you Bev. Putting faces to personalities helps alot. And you take a great photo. Keep it up
me again.

tong said...

you guys are nice people, those kids are very luck from my country.