Friday, June 29, 2007
Huhn? I said, "Really? Well she shouldn't; she's Chinese. We are no blood relation." Okay, whatever. That bothered me for the area of work this woman is beginning. She is Caucasian and will be working with clients who are not.
She kept trying to find commonalities too which really drove me nuts. I mean I don't want G to look like me. I want her to look like her.
It hit me that she truly thought she was complementing G and me and she had to have something to say. Just say she is cute. Just say how darling. Just say how lucky I am for having her in my life. But don't tell me she looks like me. I know we will reflect facial expressions from each other as she will pick those up from me but she still doesn't look like me and never will, Thank Goodness, for she will be sooo much more beautiful.
1) I am a bit OCD. I never purchase just one thing when I shop like shampoo, deoderant/antiperspirant, makeup etc. I stock up no matter the cost (credit card). I can't feel that I am going to run out of something.
2) I have one dog and two cats. All are neurotic in their own ways.
3) I am an acne sufferer and have been since before 3rd grade. Pro*ac*tive doesn't work for me. Related to that I have stinky feet even in flip flops. Has something to do with skin not sloughing off properly according to the Prs*ac*tive literatureI read.
4) I love vanilla flavor and white chocolate. I almost love anything with no nutritional value. I love celery and dry egg noodles. I learned to love lettuce on sandwiches because I liked to hear the crunch. If I didn't have lettuce for a sandwich I would put lays potato chips on it.
5) I am the most picky eater. I hate seafood of any kind. I love Asian foods though. I dislike true Mexican foods. I love Greek foods. None of the foods I like were ever made by my mom. I do not have the same food tastes as my immediate family.
6) I hate going to weddings and will not do so unless it is a close relative.
7) I have a useless master's degree and 30 hours toward a doctorate that also would have been useless at least in the field I was pursuing. I prefer computers to people as far as working with them.
8) As I get older the more being in large groups makes me uncomfortable. I don't like parking lots full of cars or being in lines of traffic esp if it is not moving.
I have a list to tag but will have to do so later.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Day before yesterday was also a scorcher so when I picked up G from the daycare I decided to let her play in the sprinkler. Plus I needed to water the front grass. I put her in her swimsuit and off we went. I of course stayed dressed in my work clothes. Our neighbor Mr. Butch was out and he decided to turn on his sprinkler for G too. His is much nicer more of a mister whereas mine is the traditional type. But G would not go by herself through any of the water. Needless to say I was pretty soaked when we came back home. I have no pictures obviously but wish I did.
Last night G told me we needed to bring the pool from Grammie's house to our house. I may just go get a small wading pool for her. Problem with that is mosquitoes and animals drinking out of it. Maybe I can find one with a top like the sandbox.
Today is another scorcher. Plus we are supposed to get rain. Problem with that is it won't be enough rain to cool the weather down but will only add more humidity. Literally feels like Guangzhou in July and Aug.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I am going through my yahoo group postings for a special "gotcha" anniversary on this blog. What fun to read what I wrote then and compare notes to now. Anyway I am reading up to January 25, 2006. This was at 6 months post Gotcha or Family Day and this is one paragraph from that post:
"She is a typical toddler in all areas. She can throw a mean tantrum(one of which I captured on video last night) one minute and be quite fine the next. She can stay awake no matter how tired she is as long as she keeps moving and will do so especially at bedtime. She is back to co-sleeping with me from start to finish because of her ability to stay awake. Oh and she is extremely bossy!!"
Bold was added by me today. This sleeping thing has been going on a long time. She has an incredible ability to stay awake no matter what. Last night she pulled fake tears on me to try and sleep with me. Since I and she knew she was faking, she did go to sleep and slept all night without disturbance in her own bed. No telling though when she actually fell asleep.
Maybe she will continue this sleeping in her own bed for awhile. Night before last she fell apart and said, "But I will miss you!" all in hysterical tears, real tears.
Monday, June 25, 2007
This week's challenge is cowgirl. We don't have cowgirl outfits and the pics of G riding the wonder horse are no where to be found. I have printed copies but no scanner. So here is the closest I can get: G riding my cousin's "horsie" (8/2005), with me and a real horse (10/06) and last riding a zebra at the zoo (5/2007).
Sunday, June 24, 2007
We are watching videos/movies. G loves the Richard Scary videos. We have already watched Jungle Book and The Best of Elmo. We have colored and played stickers. We have read many books.
Last night we went to dinner with my parents to a Mexican restaurant in the area. Not my favorite but G really really likes the rice, white cheese dip and lettuce. She is a pretty spicy girl. We don't allow her to have the salsa though because she doesn't understand how to make it stop burning. She won't eat the rice to take away the burn and just cries instead. Found that out the hard way one night.
I have attempted to upload some video but discovered I don't have the DV cord I need. And I am not sure my computer is compatible for a cord even if I purchase one. I may have to take the ole computer in with me to purchase the cord. It is very frustrating to think you have everything you need but then find out you don't. I should be spending the day to organize myself instead I am being lazy ready for a nap.
G wants to type a message:
jhujhhehjehje5jh jegeegtekjgtltgktegkl/getg/ktgketekgekgtetytyy jfrfhrqfh hrfhrqhghghghgqhg rfkrngngvwgkkgkggkgkgkgkkgkngkgkgkgkgkgkggkgkgkjkgjgk ngnjgjngtgtjjgtjtgbjtgjtgjtgjgtjgtjttttjntnjhbbthjnbb ngrngngjngjnjgnnngtngn
She ate cheese and a very few pretzels for lunch. She said she just wanted a snack. Anyway, I am ready for the piddling to stop and us to take a nap.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Ready for school this morning. You can't really see it but she has a pony tale that is laying on the back of the chair. She is also in a mini skirt that is too big in the waist but we didn't have clean shorts today. She is in her fav. panda shirt.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
She has been super affectionate tonight. I hope I don't fall for the "your my favorite" and let her weasel her way back to bed with me. I need to sleep.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
"I jus needda wuv on my bwankie jus a widdle bit."
"We can wash it wader."
On fixing her hair in the morning:
"Oh, my hair is not helping me."
On just about anything she does:
"You dent (didn't) know I could..." or just plain, "You dent know."
On waking in the morning as I come to get her out of bed:
me: "have you been awake long?"
G: "Yes, and you dent come get me."
On anything I won't let her do:
"Well, well, my gammie/dandad will yet (let) me do it."
On me playing on the computer and her wanting to:
G: "I wanna e-mail somebody."
me: "Who do you want to e-mail?"
G: "Gammie, I tell her she my favorite and she my best fwiend."
On going for a walk:
"Can we take a walkin' when we go home?"
On the distance to Grammie's house:
"Gammie wievs a fa fa away." (Grammie lives a far far away.)
On her bear that slept with her last night:
"Mama, come heerow, I wanna show you sumbin'. Dat bear no did bite me."
Then I crawled in bed at 10pm (1 hour and half after the original time) thinking about the evening and realizing that every time she cried I did something that she asked me to do. Ultimately the goal was to get her to sleep in her own bed so we both would get some sleep. In between it though I would pick her up each time she cried because she didn't want to sleep in her bed. So I guess it stands at 1 major victory--MAMA and all small controlling victories--G. See I knew she was too smart for me.
I was asleep for exactly 1 hour and 1/2 when the storm came through that woke me up. The power had gone off and I woke up when it came back on. All the clocks were blinking 12:00. I was having a good dream of which I can't remember now. The dog and one of the cats were getting hysterical because neither like the storms. So sleep was a wash yesterday totally.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Then she starts to pitch a fit about wanting me to rub her leg. Well, I had been a little and it was apparently keeping her awake. So since I stopped rubbing her leg, and I am trying to be consistent in the "Do not give in to whining" issue, she kicked me. So I took her to her bed. That was about 20 mins ago. So now we have been awake after lights out for an hour. She is still hysterical and I can't give in. We had done the go to sleep after lights off for 2 nights home and then this.
Oh and she has 6 mosquito bites on her right now so I gave her Benadryl for itching and fast falling asleep about an hour and 15 mins ago. Something is very wrong with this picture.
PITY ME OOOOOHHH PITY ME!! My stomach is literally twisting with every "mama" she utters. I want to make a rule that she can call me "Bev" when she is upset and "mama" when she isn't. Do you think that will work?
That is exactly what I have to write about today. Sorry. Seems G and I got back into the bad bedtime routine of staying up too late last night. At least she is going to sleep when the lights are out.
We have now watched Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at least 3 times. I have to hold my hand over her eyes when the bad parts come on. She even asks about where that "mother-step" is. She told me this morning she was on top of our house. My child has a wonderful imagination.
She got 3 mosquito bites yesterday while playing with the water hose beside the pool. Notice I did not say "while in the pool"? She and Grandad played outside of the pool while I read my book. Poor baby, we did doctor the spots really well but at that time we thought it was only 2 bites. This morning I saw the third bite right at the base of where her suit would be under her arm. No wonder I didn't see it.
Happy belated father's day to all dads everywhere. G's daycare made father's day gifts. G made them for her Grandad. He was super proud.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
G had another pajama day yesterday and didn't take a bath all day. She is now in the tub scrubbing the grime off.
G ate over half the plate of green beans by herself. We got the recipe from our friend Laura and her daughter Grace. Ms. Laura woulds send G home with a ziplock bag of them after dinner. While Ms. Laura would cook them, G would stand around the kitchen begging for another.
Friday, June 15, 2007
She is spending the night with her grammie and grandad so here she is not looking at me but showing me the tattoo on her hand from VBS and holding her suitcase. She pulled it from the closet and packed it. She wheeled it into her class even so Grandad can pick it up with her. She is just such a big girl. It makes me sad and happy all at once.
She was sobbing into her pillow. So I walked toward her and asked if she was crying and she said yes. I picked her up and asked if she had a bad dream and she said yes. I asked what she dreamed and all she could say was, "I dream uggy." Well, see earlier we watched Mulan. The Hun character, Shen Yu, scares her. She calls him the ugly man or in G jargon, the "uggy man." I literally have to hold my hands over her eyes when he threatens to come on.
So I this morning she was very proud of herself going to sleep without me talking mean words to her like, "lay still, quit moving, what are you doing?" I just told her we would try again. Tonight though she is staying with the grandparents. She was so excited and packed her suitcase. I gave her clothes to put in or else it would be bears and blankets only. I will post a pic later today.
I have to head to train some people with "First Thing."
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Can you see her smile in the pic. It was hard capturing images of a bouncing child.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
All in all he is back in really good health. Mentally he was falling into depression for not being able to do as much as he thought he should be doing as quickly as he wanted. He still is walking to the post office about 1/2 mile from the house even on Saturday morning in the almost 90 degree weather. He has always been lean and always became leaner in the summer months. Literally he plumps up in the winter and loses it in the summer. I think he is too thin but what do I know? I can see my cheeks looking forward. His shoulders, though, look very gaunt and well, bony. He doesn't have a body image of any sort.
So thanks again for the well wishes and good thoughts or prayers.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Some things I really didn't want G to know how to do at this age. My mom on the other hand says let her practice and do for herself.
The problem with that is G thinks she does such a good job that I don't need to go behind her.
Flossing is no exception neither is cleaning the "toyette" or her room. She gets terribly offended if I try to floss her teeth after her attempt.
Anyway, I relented one night and gave her the "hot" floss (mint flavor) that "tastes wike gum, mama." She flossed and then she went and jumped on the bed.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
I have since learned or experienced otherwise. I have had in the past panic attacks. I am not on meds for them although at one point I did try bu*spar which only made my head spin literally I think. Anyway, this is leading to my realization that I am currently stressed.
When I am stressed, I dream. I dream about past situations where I was stressed. In college I would dream about high school and flunking all of my classes while having teachers laugh in my face (I was an A/B student). In the work world I would dream about high school and not being able to get to my classes. In past awful emotionally damaging job I would dream about high school/college and then about said job. Now I dream about damaging job (hereafter known as dj). Last night I dreamed dj offered me a new position but when I gave them my declarations of schedule, i.e. no working past 5pm, I didn't hear from them again, and instead went to lunch with an ex-coworker of mine and a new co-worker from first thing. First thing is current place of employ where back biting is ensuing.
Now yesterday was an extremely bad day for me and G. At first thing I am discovering new back biting with me at the center. I am being bitten; I am not biting. Last night after work, we all went to church to watch a slide show of my mom's pastor's visit to Israel. Very interesting. G sat with us during the presentation. She was not very cooperative. I had to remove her once as she screamed to high heaven "NOOOO Mamma." That makes you feel good. She wouldn't sit still and had a sucker in her mouth, you know the ones with the stick. She almost fell off the pew twice. Bad images flew through my head of ER visits to pull a sucker out of her throat.
Then as pastor was praying at the end of the service she would not stop talking. Mother told me to take her out. I knew that would have been really bad because she would have affected the whole church not just the rows around us. As we walked out mother gives me the death glare and gives G the death glare too. So I left feeling like an extremely great parent, great being the operative word. But here is the kicker, I never calmed back down enough to emotionally be with G the rest of the night. And I am still on edge. I was disappointed in her and in myself and I realized that I wasn't able to give her, well, me. I withheld because I could do no other.
As we were in bed she said, "Mama you forgot to say 'I luv you'." And I did; I just didn't think about it. It isn't that I wanted to be withdrawn, because lawd knows she needed me then more than ever, but I couldn't be anything else. I held her when she asked, but couldn't initiate anything. We still giggled after bath time, but because she started the giggling. Bed time was rough again, she wouldn't go to sleep and was weepy. I couldn't remember to rub her feet or head or anything.
Before bath I cleaned the sink out and washed dishes basically ignoring her but not on purpose. I just couldn't not ignore her. I would look at her but nothing came to me to say to her. I had no feelings it seemed at all. I get weepy thinking of this. I guess the realization is good but damn what the hell do I do with it. Last night would have been really good to have had someone there as in a hubby. Nights like that is when I miss having a counterpart. I miss it on nights when things are extraordinarily good to but generally I am very content single.
I guess this is about my failure last night. I am struggling personally and it is deeply affecting G, thus her uncooperative spirit last night.
*I will leave comments on but I am not looking for sympathy. Just recounting my evening and my failure.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
She has learned to comb her hair from watching me. I am trying to teach her to comb her hair the way her hair grows, which is clockwise.
This is my girl on the go.
G loves to look at herself in the camera. This time she said, "Dat Dennis bite me on da pinger." She can't say "Gl" well yet.