Friday, October 12, 2007

Conversations with G

This took place on the way home today:

Me: So what movie do you want to watch? Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast?

G: Well, I want to watch mermaid.

Me: Well I don't have that one.

G: Aw just give it a chance.

Now where she heard that I have no idea.

Now about the name saga, G, a while ago, decided to go by her middle name, Talley. That was fine at home but then she told her parents and her teachers. Then it became known at my parents church and at the church we currently attend. I think she carried about 3 months, longer than I talked about it on the blog anyway. Two nights ago however, she had decided that G is an okay name and she wants to be called G again. This is good for me because I couldn't get used to Talley anyway.

In school Monday she had an altercation with another girl over a ball and G pulled the other child's hair. So of course the teacher mentioned it to me when I picked her up and informed me that G went in time out, and that she was upset because this teacher had never spoken sternly to her before. I apologized for G and we left. We talked about it that night.

Between picking her up and that night though, G got in trouble with me for not buckling up in the car seat then swiping at me when I buckled her. Yes, G can buckle but not unbuckle, and she likes doing it herself. Anyway, I told her because of the swipe she would be getting a spanking (no comments for it could have been any reprimand which I will explain in a sec.) when we got home. She fell apart and cried cried cried all the way home. Then she raged at home for 45 mins. I held her firmly in my lap until she figured out how to get loose then I had to put her down. I spoke softly to her and attempted to calm her. Then I waited for her and sat within view so she could come get in my lap. After her rage it was over as if there was never a problem.

Now back to the hair pulling, G told me when we got in bed later that her teacher pulled her hair (which happened to be nicely fixed in a pony tail with a bow which was lost at school) and that it "really hurt." I was mad. First, the school is a hands off school. Second, G was punished twice with a hair pull and a time out. The time out would have been enough. Third, the teacher didn't tell me about her pulling hair back. The teacher told me she spoke sternly to G and that made her cry.

So I told my mom and a couple of co-workers, and only one co-worker told me not to put up with that and if I let it slide more will happen. So I confronted the teacher and told her that although I understood her reasoning, she should not ever do it again, and she agreed. She also admitted to giving G a "little tug" but wasn't aware that G was "tender headed." Like that mattered?!

See I didn't like this teacher in the first place, but G really likes her. She is even worried if this teacher will like her outfits and asks me every morning if I think she will. "Mama, do you fink Ms. C will not yike dis outpit?" Weird!!

Tuesday, when I picked G up she requested to go buy stickers. Well, she didn't mind me about getting in her car seat on the first time so I said no to the stickers (no stickers was the punishment for not minding). Then she cried and cried and cried all the way home (this week it didn't matter what the reprimand). She didn't rage as hard, but she cried when we got home and hit at the cats and dogs. For that she got a swat on the bottom; I can't tolerate her swiping at the dogs and cats from anger. Then she wanted to be held.

Not to be out done, last night after lights were out, she continued to wiggle and squirm, then she decided she needed to go poop. Well, first it was a stay up technique used not very much so I fall for it. She usually just wiggles and squirms and kicks and talks. Second, it required a pull-up change because she had peed the one pullup already. Third, it required my half dozed self to turn the lights on and get up.

For my child (see I am so noble), I got up, got a new pullup, put G on the pot, and threw away the wet one. In that act of throwing away the old, you would have thought I cut up blankie with the melodrama. She literally bounced on the seat crying for the wet pullup, and then when I got her down she stamped her feat, crying hysterically the whole time, with just her pj top on, for that wet pullup. Finally, I said, "fine you are going to bed with nothing (reverse psych, thank goodness it worked or I would have been in a bad mess). She relented and let me put the pull up on but then cried that I didn't do it like a baby cause she is a baby.

Well, I told her I would hold her like a baby which I did. Then I got in bed and held and rocked her giving her the water from her sippy cup like a bottle. I told her when we first came home and she would wake from a bad dream I used to hold her like that and hold her bottle for her. She calmed down, but it was another 30 mins before she actually fell asleep. I am so glad today is Friday.

After this week, I am so glad tomorrow is Sat and we are going to the zoo. We need a relaxing day with no time constraints.


Christy said...

I think you totally handled that appropriatly. I would be a bit pissed about the hair thing. THat is totally inappropriate and I am glad you did not tolerate it. I think a lot of parents woudl have let that go in an effort to avoid confrontation but you totally did the right thing. I also think you are totally consistant with your punishment and that is really awesome beucase so many parents struggle in this area (I for sure do).

I hope you have a great time at the zoo!!

Christy :)

Chinazhoumom said...

Right before K moved to the 3 yr old class - she had a teacher that I called the TEACHER NAZI - every time I went in K's room to pick her up - no less that 5-6 kids would be in time out - now I realize that yes there are tough days - but not day after day - and the other teachers never had this problem - I finally told the director of her school - that I was A..Going to move K to another school and yes - I did visit a few - 2. move her to the 3 yr old class - as K was more than ready and smart enough (this was about 2 mths ago) Since moving to the 3's NO PROBLEM - imagine that - and the director said she had received other reports fm parents about the teacher - So my opinion - TELL THE director or person in charge at her school -

And I applaud you for standing your ground - if she has inappropriate behavior (and not because she is hungry/tired etc-then I agree - no "goodies" K does great - she know exactly where I stand and what I expect as far as her actions - and if she differs fm that...then she can relax in her room until she feels better (yes the door is open - and it is all of 8 fm fm the kitchen -where I am normally doing something)
Have fun at the zoo!
carol fm FL

Anonymous said...

Can I be honest? Sounds like smaller attachment issues. Controlling behavior, raging and lashing out at animals. Please do a google search on RAD symptoms, and read through them. I hope I'm wrong, but you will know when you read the long list of possible symptoms. I wish you the best.

Eliza2006 said...

I would have been outraged over the teacher's inappropriate behavior. There would have been a big meeting held! Mama bear would have been ready for a fight. You did a good job talking to her! Sounds like the problem is resolved.


mommy24treasures said...

I think you did the right thing confronting the teacher as well.

Hope your Saturday is super fun and you enjoy your time together.

kris said...

Wow. I fear I'll be horrible at this part of momhood! My sister always said they lied about the terrible two's, it's really the terrible three's! Hang in there- you have incredible patience, I hope I will too!

Kerry said...

I didn't know that teachers openly do things like hair pulling??!!! You handled that well, I think I would have gone and yanked hers...Do you think Glenys is trying to please this woman because she's intimidated by her (her outfits, etc)?