Saturday, November 17, 2007

Ack! I forgot!

Okay so here is my theory on MY Personal weight gain. First I have never been smaller than a size 8, ever. Size 8 fits my frame very well and I am comfortable in that size. I am even comfortable up to a 12 in somethings. My ring size is an 8 or 8 1/2 depending on what hand so I am not a small person.

So from 1998 to 2005 I was a runner. G came home in 2005 (this is not her fault and I don't blame her). I remained a healthy steady weight and even ate appropriately. I also had a very high paying job for what I did. Granted I sold my soul during that time but I was financially well off.

In 2005 after G came home I tried to run with her in a running stroller but it totally freaked her out. There was no other option for me other than to not run. Treadmills freaked her out too. I was not getting babysitters for runs and I worked so late that there wasn't time in the evenings either.

In 2006 I made a very dreadful decision to leave the high paying job for self employment. The stress of trying to make it and failing plus having no money hit me extremely hard. Now I am still poor, literally, not making ends meet but I do have time to run. I am currently up to a size 16/18, no joke. I carry it fairly well in that until I lose it no one could really tell I weigh that much.

So here is what I think other than the non-running, I don't waste food. When I had money to burn, so to speak, I ate less in portion size. What I eat hasn't changed but now I cook a pizza for me and G, just a party pizza (jenos), and I eat 2/3 of it and G plays with 1/3. I don't feel right throwing any away. So I eat more. I actually finish my plate at restaurants and at home where as before I didn't I never finished a plate. I could afford not to. Now I can't and I see it as waste. I have to learn to waste again. In doing that I reduce my serving size and consume less calories.

Oh and for me it is all about calories. I could lose all of the weight by increasing the calorie output (running) and decreasing the calorie in put (portion size/calorie counting) and I can eat anything I want. I can't get motivated though to run again. I can't wear the shoes I have now and can't afford a new pair. I have had a fracture before stopping my 3rd marathon run. I can't do lots of training because I am prone to injury and illness. I actually trained for 4 marathons, the second I had a double ear infection on the day of it and just couldn't run it. The 4th one was the fracture. I completed the first and third ones.

Counting calories broke my gum chewing habit too. Gum chewing was a 10+year habit I broke in 2000 while training for my first marathon. I decided it was too many calories to consume without benefit.

So that is my theory on my personal weight gain. I am not a dieter and never will be.


Heather said...

I totally understand your dilemma about not wasting food. I've discovered myself that restaurant portions a huge and I shouldn't eat the whole emal unless that is all I eat (probably for the whole day).
One thing I try to do when I order, which has gotten me some odd looks, but it works, is to order and ask for half of it to be put straight into a doggie bag. That way I can eat everythign on my plate, still be full, and then have my lunch for the next day.
It actually can cost more to eat better, that's why there are so many morbidly obese poor people.

Take heart my fellow injury prone woman, you'll come up with something that will work for you. I mean all those walks at the zoo are good for you too. Swimming perhaps?

Heather BT

mommy24treasures said...

my hubby doesn't want to waste either, he does the exact same thing.

kris said...

You must be quite tall- cuz you definitely carry that weight well!

Jeff and Valerie said...

I find that I tend to finish off Malia's food after I am done with mine. Bad!

Salome's Mom said...

I agree with Heather, you will find a way. Also her idea of ordering half to be put away in a doggie bag is good.

Elizabeth said...

I did weight watchers for a while (successfully) and we had the same "wasting food" discussion. She said that whether you eat the food or throw it away it is being wasted. They are calories your body doesn't need, therefore you're "throwing them away" down your throat.
Now, that's what SHE said. I have always had the same problem. It's on my plate, it's mine to eat! I would take a to-go bag, and then throw it away when it became a science project.
Maybe that outlook would help? (I try to look at it that way).