Thursday, November 15, 2007

Did I mention?

Did I mention about the weird incident that happened at the zoo Sat? Well it happened right in front of the red panda exhibit and with a current "first thing" co-worker. So I will just tell you a bit about the co-worker first. She happens to attend church with my parents. She also is an aunt to the clinical director of "first thing" and also, the head billing clerk. Her husband is a bus driver for this company too.

Anyway, when she figured out who I was, meaning my mother's daughter, and that I had adopted G, one of the first things she did was to thank me for adopting G. Because you know I am such a nice person to help out the poor little orphan girl.

So this particular Sat she happened to be at the zoo with her daughter and three grandchildren. Two of her granddaughters are twins so they are a slight novelty unto themselves. But like I said they were at the zoo too and we bumped into them at the red pandas. She excitedly introduced G to her own daughter explaining that she knew her from church. Then she proceeded to ask me if she could have a picture of her twins with G. Now, if you are reading this and have already adopted from China or gone there you will understand how I felt at that moment.

You see, we were in the zoo, G is a novelty by first being adopted and then being Chinese. So she wished to document that novelty. Thankfully one of her granddaughters was so not interested in the pic, and I would not have made G do it if she had not wanted too (I was hoping she would bolt). But I will say I am glad it wasn't G revolting about it because I am sure this person would have explained it in a negative light.

We don't have play dates with this family, we are not friends with this family, and honestly I don't really care to work with this person. There was no reason for her to wish to subject my child to a photo op with her twins. G is not on display; she is my child. Of course this woman saw nothing wrong with the request. My mom understood my concern after explaining this situation in comparison to being in China, but my mom told me it wouldn't have hurt G to have been in the pic. Anyway, I know my family is on display because of how we were formed but sometimes the ignorance of others is totally comical.

Oh and the picture is dinner on Sunday night. Yes we made French donuts. G didn't like me sharing hers. We only made a half a recipe. Then G wants to know why I am fat?!?!?


Donna said...

Yummy. Thanks for the reminder. I bought Cafe du Monde beignet mix when I was in New Orleans in July. The box is still in my kitchen. I need to make them this weekend. I've sometimes been asked by or even caught strangers photographing my kids in public places; creepy. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.

Andrea said...

Wow. It simply amazes me how inconsiderate people can be. I've had people ask if they can photograph my child because she has red hair and they've never seen a baby with red hair. I have never looked at my baby as a novelty... and I won't, either.

I'm glad that particular situation 'resolved itself'. Ugh.

Wendy said...

What makes me crazy, is when someone will say something complementary about my daughter, and we politely thank them, hoping they will go away, and they just keep going on and on about it.

The picture taking would freak me out.

Johnny said...

You should make up a sarcastic "explanation" plaque about Glenys...since she was treating her (in that great irony) as some exotic animal from overseas.

I'm all about sarcasm, but don't get to exercise it much with my two.

Susan said...

I haven't had anybody try to take a photo of my daughter "in the wild" yet, but what I do hear all the time is "She's so cute!" Well, of course she is, but when I hear it OVER and OVER and OVER I start to wonder if they've noticed anything about her at all except that she looks different. I don't want to sound ungrateful, and I know most folks really do think she's cute (heck, I do!), but I'm a little worried that when she gets older she'll hear it so much that she'll start "performing" and feel like an oddity. A few times I've said, "thank you. She's really smart, too. The other day . . ." (and then I relay a story about how brilliant she is). That's not a good thing to do, either, because probably a third of the folks I say that to then make a comment about how smart Asian people are. So now I've started saying, "oh, she's a stinker -- she's into everything. And when she sets her mind to something, watch out! She's not even 2 yet, either -- can you imagine what the teenage years are going to be like?" That tends to get folks talking about kids in general, the "terrible twos," or how they survived their kids as teenagers, and it sort of reinforces the message that she's just my daughter, just as she would be if she weren't so cute or smart.

Of course, it's a different story when it's a relative or a close friend, someone who knows her as a person and is relaying to me how delightful they find her. They can call her cute if they want to without bothering me. And my husband and I say it, too(but not when she's in earshot).

I would have felt weird about a photo -- in the zoo -- with folks I barely knew. Surely they've run into that sort of thing themselves with their twins; you'd think that would make them a little bit more sensitive.