Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My Mom

Now this is going to sound like a complaint but it isn't. Please don't take it as that. I am going to tell you how wonderfully confused my mom is with regard to me. My mom doesn't know me in the least but tries really hard to express her care and concern for me.

Okay so I am talking to my mom and she tells me she bought me some jeans. I tell her to take them back. I don't want her buying me clothes anyway, esp. without me there. She said, "You aren't going to even try them on?" So I asked what size they are. She tells me a 16 petite. First off I am not a petite. Petite is shorter than me, like by lots. Second I think I am bigger than a 16 in the thighs/hips. I really need to be there in person.

The other reason it bothers me that she is buying me anything is that my sister is with her. Two completely different personalities and different tastes totally. Now if my mom had a history of getting me clothes that fit and that I liked; I might not be ungrateful, but she doesn't. And I appreciate the thought but laud what does she truly think?

Here are a couple of examples of mom's bad decision making at Christmas: One Christmas when I still lived at home I really wanted a pair of BLACK leather gloves. Not suede, only black leather. So she lets my sister purchase them. I open my gift on Christmas and find red suede gloves. The reason was was that my sister was handing down her red wool coat and thought these matched better.

One Christmas mom told my sister to get me make up for Christmas so she purchased a pre-wrapped gift set from when Clinic used do that. I opened it up and it was empty. Well, my sister had been making fun of me previously to the opening, well actually all day, and that empty gift to me topped it all off, bad emotions and anger etc. Can you tell I still have pent up emotions and a dislike of getting gifts because of that. I could make a shrink a fortune.

Another Christmas I asked for a long black wool coat. A LONG black wool coat. My mom lets my cousin do the shopping for her. My cousin is a petite and about a head shorter than me so the coat she tried on hit the floor on her. On me it falls right below my knees and is tight in the shoulders. I still have the coat and may have worn it 3 times. Hardheadness, mine, had me refusing to return it. G can wear it. She will be short, probably.

Once, I had asked as a pre-teen/teen for a dulcimer for a long time. I quit asking for it and really didn't want it anymore, but I got one after I turned 25. I still have it and did take a few lessons but never was proficient at it. My mom just doesn't have the timing or inkling anymore about me.

The thing is I would be absolutely fine without gifts, as I hate getting them anyway. It is way more fun for me to give, but mom wants to know what to get me because she just does. She and dad have done so much for me in the last two years that I truly want nothing from them. Gift receiving has become an awesome burden I would rather not have. Sometimes our family attaches strings to gifts even if emotional ones. Honestly, light bulbs would be more appreciated than jeans this year. At least light bulbs are functional.

The idea of jeans (start of this post) came because I have not bought jeans in ages literally in 10+ years. I used to could wear all of my jeans, like for ever. So I simply asked how much did she think I could get classic styled jeans for. I don't necessarily want fashion jeans as I know I will have them forever (when these fashion jeans are out of style) and wear them until they literally fall apart. I have a pair of Girbaud(sp?) jeans I bought like 17 years ago that have a huge tear in them but they are ubber comfy, and I planned on wearing them tomorrow, but now I can't or mom will be mad at me. Plus, her brother and his family are coming, shit. I have to dress up better with company around.

The reason I haven't bought jeans is that at the psychologically damaging company I worked for didn't allow them or any pants, and I would only wear them on Sat. only. I literally dressed up every day except Sat. On Sundays I would dress for church and then I would get in my jammies for nap time. So there was really no need for jeans. I bought linen pants to travel in because jeans are not totally comfy on airplanes in the summer. Anyhoo, I really am not complaining but my mom doesn't know me at all. My sister, even less. I just wish sometimes I felt like she knew me. I hope she took those jeans back because I will not try them on!!!! Call me mean!!


Johnny said...

It took 30 years, but my mother finally learned not to buy me clothes.

I think seeing the same shirt on the same hanger 2 or 3 years later...she finally caught on that our tastes are different.

In your examples, it says a lot about the buyer, doesn't it?

Heather said...

Yup, gotta love our Moms, I mean there are times they can know us so well, granted these seem to be few and far between, and other times they are so clueless. Nobody can tick me off faster than my Mum, but I know she'll do her best for me if I need her to it may not be what i expect, but it's her best.
I hope you live thru the holidays with some sense of what the holiday truly means left in you after dealing with your relatives. Good luck!
Heather BT

Elizabeth said...

Put aside all the other shopping/gift-giving issues and let's focus for a second on the someone-else-buying-you-jeans-thing... It takes me 3 hours, sp*anks, 45 pairs of jeans, and a visit to the therapist to find a pair of jeans that I don't hate. How did two fellow women shoppers think they could pick jeans which would fit someone else? Are these magical jeans? Jeans are a staple of my wardrobe as my office is very relaxed unless meeting with clients. I still wear the same pair EVERYDAY because I have not saved enough after the move to afford the post-jeans-shopping therapy bill. :) I hope this season is kinder to you when it comes time to open the gifts.
As far as the blog, I'll be sure to drop you an e-mail with the new addy. I haven't had the time to move everything over and start the new posts, but I'm going through SERIOUS withdrawls!!!

A Special Family said...

Your mom sounds like my mom, I hear you!

kerry said...

You are soooo not alone :)

In regard to the 'gift thing': 2 years ago I gave my family a list of several organizations/charities that I like. I asked, very seriously, that if they wanted to give me gifts, to donate what they would spend to one of the orgs. It actually went over quite well! 1.It's really nice and more 'jeans'!!!

best wishes...k

MKBookWorks said...

Your Mom sounds like my Mom... your reaction to pressies also sounds like we could be sisters...

Whats up with that? Just get what we ask for - if you didn't want to do that, why ask?

Yup - a little leftover here too!

Thanks for stopping by the Empress's Imperial Blog - your Glenys is adorable!!!

Missy - Mom to EFP waiting for EBB