Monday, January 21, 2008

New Week Same Problems

I came up with a brilliant plan to help G fall asleep on time without tears, or so I thought. I explained my Brilliant Plan, hereafter known as BP, to her like this,

"G, see this calendar? You can earn a surprise by going to sleep on time without tears and getting up in the morning also without tears for 5 days in a row. I will put a smiley face on the day before we leave if you did both of those things. if you get 5 smiley faces in a row then I will let you pick any surprise out you want. Do you want to try that?"

G: "any surfrize?"

Me: "yes, any."

G: "Okay."

This was at 8pm. At 8:45 pm when the lights went off, G decided she didn't want to go to bed and told me so. I warned her about losing the smiley face which set off a 20 minute cry fest begging to have the smiley face. So guess what I drew the frowning face right then. She lost on day one. I told her we would try again. I even asked her how she earned the smiley face. Through tears she was able to tell me "be good." 

I said, "What is being good?" 

She said, "Go to sweep, stay still, and no tears." All said through tears. She would not let it go.

So lets recap: in 20 minutes my blood pressure shot through the roof, I was at my worst, yelling at her and about her, and she got a spanking and a time out. WTF, why did my BP not work on night one? Oh and she fell asleep after 9:30pm.

Well, tonight we will try again, I reinforced it this morning. But tonight I won't let the tears make me so mad at her or me, dang it. I am determined to win. Once this battle is conquered I will try the sleeping in the own bed battle. The thing is I don't mind if she sleeps with me as long as she sleeps. I do mind if she wiggles and squirms, tosses and turns, hits and talks, and won't go to sleep.

I did make the mistake of telling her that if I got fired for not being on time because of not being able to go to bed on time then I would never be able to take her to the beach. That ended up adding to the hysterics and tears. I won't make that mistake again either.


Kerri said...

Sleep issues suck!
Kerri and Ruby

Sophie's Mom said...

Awww.. so sorry you're having a hard time. What about giving her the 'choice' of sleeping in her own bed (where she can talk, sing and read books until she falls asleep), or sleeping in your bed, where she has to be quiet and lay still? Then if she starts moving around and talking etc etc, you can ask her if she would rather go in her own bed to do that? (Mommy's bed is the quiet bed) Who knows, she might surprise you, and choose to go in her own bed to have that freedom.

If she's really acting up in your bed, you could always take her in her room, set her in her bed, and tell her you love her, and she's free to come back when she's ready to be quiet (she would know you mean business, and it would be an immediately consequence, which some kiddos need).

Just a thought... I hope you get it worked out quickly, lack of sleep is a difficult thing! Let us know how it works out!

Sharon said...

Oh, I feel your pain! 14 years ago, (so it's old) I read the greatest book. "How to solve your child's sleep problems" I don't remember by who. I would recommend it if you library could dredge it up!! Just Be gentle with yourself!

Donna said...

Sleep problems are the worst! Hang in there...she'll figure it out sooner or later (hopefully sooner!)

kerri said...

Hang in there, we had some major sleep issues with Jillian.
I would put her in her bed, told her she must stay in. I sat down on the floor, did not engage her(only the first time she gets out, to let her know she is safe and what I expected of her, stay in your bed), eventually moving toward the door. When she got out, I didn't speak with her, I put her back into the bed.This went on for for about one week, then it paid off big time, now she gets bath, book, kiss and goodnight and I walk out no crying and she doesn't get out of the bed!YAHOO!!!
This technique was on Super Nanny, I didn't believe that we would have success, boy was I wrong!!
Hang in there, don't beat yourself up, your a great Mom and this will resolve itself.

The Byrd Family said...

I too have this same problem with Emma. Since Lottie, Emma and I all sleep together. Emma never stops making sounds and never stops moving until she is asleep. Matter of fact, that is the only way I know she is asleep.

I just read in this Creative Correction book about giving yourself a timeout with your child. I tried it today with Emma and it really calmed me down before I raised my voice at her. I picked her up and sat her in my lap and we counted aloud to twenty together. When we were finished I felt calmer to talk with her.

And I ditto what Sophie's Mom said about giving her a choice. They like to make their own decisions and you may have to prove you mean business by putting her in her own bed but she will probably be quiet when she comes back to your "quiet bed".

Praying for you guys my friend!

nikki said...

Oh my girl I soooo understand your pain.
We finally stopped giving Lily a nap, and now she almost always falls asleep within minutes by nine o'clock. Is Glenys still napping?

AZMom said...

Ya I have found that the first few times of losing that smiley face (or in our case points/stickers) is the WORST!

BTDT...hang in there and hang tough.

Big hugs!

Christy said...

Oh poor thing!! I feel so bad for you. I am with you on the allowing myself to get mad and to yell at the kids. I get so mad at the boys that it lterally boils my blood. I go from 0 to 60 in no time flat. I have to control this but it is hard. It is a lot of training on our parts and on the kids part so I hope the next few days are better.

Chrsity :)

Heather said...

I definitely understand your stress. I think you are an incredible Mom. I know that there are times I put Acer into a sit & count, just to give myself time to cool my BP a few points. I know you'll find a solution that will work for the both of you.
Heather BT

marilyn & evro said...

I feel your pain. I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits--Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. The "silent return to sleep" method mentioned by the person who referenced Supernanny also is very effective. I think I put Emilia back to bed about 60 times one night, but she stays there now. Good luck!