Monday, July 21, 2008

As Promised-

Bad dreams are us.

G talks in her sleep, have I mentioned that? So Thursday night she had a very bad dream apparently. She was beating the hell out of me that is for sure. Of course her feet connecting with my back in a painful way wakes me up in time to hear her very clearly and matter of factly (is that a word?) say, "I don't have a mommy."

Someone once told me that we work out our stresses/conflicts in our dreams even if we aren't dreaming of the actual stress/conflict. It just broke my heart that she would be dreaming that she doesn't have a mommy when in fact she has 3 mommies, her first mom, foster mom and me!

We didn't even go to bed badly on Thursday that I remember. And of course she couldn't remember what she dreamed it at all. When she talks in her sleep she doesn't remember her dreams. Those are words I never want to hear her say. I don't mind if she gets mad at me for not getting her way or for some perceived offense if she says she wishes I wasn't her mommy but really who doesn't wish that once and a while? But to declare that she doesn't have a mommy, hmmmm.

Sometimes I wish I could get into her little head!!


Vivian M said...

We have talked to Kerri since the beginning about her adoption. But it was only recently that she really understood that it meant that she was abandoned by her birth parents or birth mom. And then we saw her attachment issues worsen for a bit. Our daughters are very smart, and I think they understand more than we give them credit for sometimes. Hang in there, it was probably just a bad dream, so don't read too much into it. Maybe it is a blessing that she does not remember her dreams. And when she is ready to ask the questions, I am sure you will have the right things to say to her. Huge hugs!

The Byrd Family said...

Emma is doing this every night. She is very angry while she is sleeping and wakes me up almost every hour. I have been told this is a healthy way for them to "work it out" but it is so hard to watch.

Ellie Monster said...

It is so interesting how the subconscious mind works. I remember my dreams almost every night and they are pretty vivid, but I know that most people don't. It seems like she's got a lot going in her mind, whether she knows it or not.

Sharon said...

Oh that breaks my heart too (and makes me feel a little afraid for Bailey! Who knows what I am in for once she starts talking! I am so in the everythings fine zone, I hope I have the strong heart you do Beverly!!)

Is there anyway another child might have said something to her that you don't know about? Otherwise I agree with Vivian over there...! I also think its kind of like getting into her head to get to hear these sub-thoughts even if its confusing!! Big hugs to you and thanks for sharing this!!