Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Not My Favorite Topic

Death, is one for one. Everyone will face it some sooner than others. Some people grow up with it all around. I didn't know anyone who died until I was a pre-teen and that was a great uncle. I didn't attend my first funeral until junior high. Then it seemed that I was at several in a row. I suppose the older I get the more I will run into it. My daughter will see more of it at her age than I did at the same age.

Along with the death comes illnesses that can bring death except for heroic measures by doctors. Children with cancer, parents with cancer, car accidents, freak accidents and other illnesses. All that being said, death and illness are not natural. Yes, we all will face it and we all will die of our last disease or accident. But, that was not the intention when God created the earth. Believe it or not, it was His mercy that allowed the first humans to die after they sinned. Their sin and by default our sin, separated them and us from that perfect relationship with Him.

Can you imagine what Eve felt after that separation? You see she knew perfection and lived in a world that we can never understand. Then to know fully of the depths she fell in her sin would have been tremendously painful. It was God's mercy that refused to let her stay in that fallen state. He provided the first sacrifice of the animal to provide skins for covering. Every sin requires a blood sacrifice which thankfully Jesus provided on the cross. We still sin and live in the imperfection of the world.

The world groans in its existence until that day we are again made perfect and are in perfect relationship with Him. For now we see through a glass darkly but one day we will be known and know perfectly. It is for that day that death holds no victory and that as believers we grieve for those who die or are ill. We grieve with a hope, not wishful thinking, but of something unseen but known. We grieve for children whose mortal lives are taken by starvation, abuse, neglect but rejoice that their suffering is over and they go to be with their Creator.

It as the parable of the needle point claims on one side (our view point) the threads are not together or pretty, they are knotted and in places torn, but on the other side (God's view point) the picture is perfect and serves a great purpose. One day we will come to know our purpose in this world.

My aunt is dying of kidney cancer. She has a mass 4" X 5" X 4" on her kidney (yes inches). She smoked all her life and refused to go to the doctor because they would tell her to quit smoking. She has had 8 pints of blood given to her over a period of 6 weeks; we only have 8 pints of blood total in us. She has been in the hospital since two Thursdays ago and half that time in intensive care.

Her son is getting married in less than a month and she may not make the wedding. She lived for this son, her only child. All she ever wanted was for him to give her a grandchild, and she wasn't all that concerned whether it was in wedlock or not.

She wants to live but the doctors have laid out two choices neither of them good. Choice one is to get her physically strong enough to do the surgery and hope that it won't cause the cancer to spread or that she doesn't die in surgery. Choice two is to make her comfortable until she passes. Neither is a good option one may end her life sooner than the other.

This aunt is my dad's only sister. She lives near San Diego. She has her son with her and my younger brother and his family living close to her. We may have a 2nd cousin out there too. She will be 70 on the 27th of this month.

My mom is a little mad at her for being in CA. There had been many requests for her to move closer to us when my grandmother (her mom) was alive. She was too afraid that my cousin would get married and/or have a baby though, and she decided to stay out there with him. Yes, it was/is her decision, but she is alone for all intents and purposes. She wanted to move closer too and always said if my cousin would move back she would too. My parents and an uncle are going out for the wedding but haven't really the money to go out sooner.

The last time we saw her was last summer. I am not sure if I can afford to fly G and me out to CA if there is a funeral. I would rather go see her while she is alive though. Is this a morbid post? It should be. Death is not natural, was never meant to be, it is only a shared human experience. The only hope we have is in Christ and His provision for us in the cross.