"A Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches for Everyone
John McSame has been spreading scurrilous rumors that Obama is a "socialist". Ugly, horrible, right-wing lies from a lying Repug whose entire campaign has been one smear after another. Obama would be well within his rights to sue McSame for slander, or at the very least have him referred to a reeducation facility until such a time that a renewed Fairness Doctrine can silence such right-wing hate speech. But our future President is as merciful as he is witty, and chose instead to counter McShame's smears with a one-two punch of good ol' progressive humor.
"I don't know what's next. By the end of the week, he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
And that's all Obama wants to do, really. He just wants to share his peanut butter and jelly sandwich with all the people of this country. Well, not quite everyone. Just those who need it the most. And it's not exactly HIS peanut butter and jelly sandwich he wants to share, either. After 8 long years of Bush's failed capitalist policies, the nation's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are now unfairly concentrated in the hands of a small few. While the proletariat has been living hand to mouth, the richest 1% have been gorging themselves on sandwiches made from the peanut butter and jelly of the working class. In fact, the sole reason you don't have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is because a rich guy somewhere has two. Obama just wants to liberate a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from their greedy cakeholes and spread them around a little, so that all Americans can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's not Socialism, it's compassion. And President Obama plans to be pretty compassionate with other peoples' peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, believe you me. "