Friday, November 28, 2008

Attachment from the Adoption Seminar

A few weeks ago I attended an adoption seminar and was asked to post about the attachment section, so here it goes.

First, here are two links to the speaker and his school: David Cross and TCU child site

David Cross, Ph.D. co-authored the book The Connected Child with Dr. Karen Purvis.

First he talked about the behavior systems of the body which are 1) affiliative (egaging other humans other than attachment figures), 2)Exploratory system (works with #3), 3)attachment, and 4) fear weariness system (I hope I wrote that right b/c I can't read my writing).

In children you can see the systems work as the child with good attachment will use his attachment figure (mother or father) as the homebase from there to explore his world always using homebase as a barometer of his world.

He used the word Tapestry to define healthy attachment and said attachment is about emotions.

Truth- it is more important for a child to know what he feels rather than what he should feel. A child must learn to recognize emotions.

Attunement-works in unisome as a couple like child/mom. We had watched two short videos of a mom and child and watched the progress of the child measuring the mom for sign that it was safe to return to play.

Play is the method of operation and is safe. Play is the antetedote to fear meaning a child in fear will not step out and play. Play is very important for health.

Empathy towards your child remembering from where he comes. The legacy of fear is the driving force of all maladaptive behaviors in foster care and adoptions. Children will either become the center of the universe wreaking havoc (control) or withdraw from the universe

Trust is the manifistation of the above, built in attachment cycle.

Reafference is the feedback from effects of one's own actions- natural consequences. Dr. Cross recommends having "redo" until the child comes away successful in a positive interchange. (I started trying it with G until she said she didn't want a redo. Maybe it is the age?)

Yourself-Take care of yourself, get involved in the adoption community

Then he said that attachment tapestry is made of people, process, skills and changes:

of people babies can attache to 5 adults. It is better to have attached and lost than never to have attached.
of process- affecting, emotional, cognitive, behavioral
of skills- kids choose peers like their parents (good news y'all)
of changes- emmerges at 7 months, different at 1 than 2 etc.
Fundamentally about comfort and nurture in times of distress. And I shouldn't have waited so long to do this as I have forgotten what was said.
So I am going to use this and the first one I posted around the beginning of the month (too lazy to look) and submit it for our FCC newsletter!

1 comment:

Vivian M said...

Information sharing is so important. I wish I had more information/resources when we brought Kerri home. I thought I had read enough about attachment, but was totally unprepared for the consequences of her trauma and neglect.