I am sure by now most of you in the China adoption community have heard of Lydia who has a specific type of cancer and with this cancer and need for bone marrow they were able to locate the first family in China? Well, this is directly copied from her Caringbridge site. Pray for this family as their options are running out or may have run out.
It seems that the China adoption community this year has had a very rough go of it. With the earthquake in China earlier, flooding, death of the Chapman's youngest, the single mom going crazy and attempting to kill her kids, another death of a precious child newly home, the death in Dallas looks like the girl was Asian (not sure of this one) and just so much sorrow and grief. Yes other families have had tragedy this year too but with China I have a link albeit small with G that I seem to notice it more. So tonight and in future, hold your babies a little closer, give a bit more grace to yourself and your kids, make sure to tell your loved ones that you do, and have a very Merry Christmas remembering for Whom we celebrate and from Whom we receive the greatest gift.
"TUESDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2008 06:32 PM, CST
Well, I don't really know how to begin this entry. I have started and stopped several times. I would like to write something really inspiring, both for me and for all of you, to encourage you in your faith walk as well. But to be honest, I am having great difficulty digging deep right now for what is left of any faith I may have.
After this long walk, and the struggles with the family, and the "big decision" and the meeting, etc., we found out today that Lydia relapsed. This is SO rare, that I cannot even tell you a statistic. To start with, AML only affects about 500 kids a year, then you move to those who are high risk, who then achieve a remission, and talk about relapsing during chemo after a remission...well, let's just say it is off the charts. I don't know why we can't be on the good end of any stupid statistic. It just plain out *&%#*& SUCKS! I would have to try desperately hard to figure out how this is "for the best". I know, I know, I don't know God's plan and all that other stuff, but PLEASE...it's Christmas and this is not the kind of news one wants to receive at Christmas, or ever for that matter. I am sure it's not even news you want to know about...depressing all the way around.
So what does this mean? Well, the bone marrow transplant is off indefinitely, because you cannot do it if the person is not in remission. And she has met toxicity levels for the drug that did get her into remission, meaning she can't do that because it would cause cardiomyopathy...so we MAY try a drug called clofaribin that has had some success with difficult AML cases. If we don't/can't try this, or that doesn't work, then we are done with treatment...and I guess the rest you can guess because I can't write it.
So, I will have to confess to you that this has really shaken my faith to its very core. I am not sure where I am headed in my faith walk at this point. I would like to be able to tell you that I am trusting in God's big plan, and perhaps I will get there over time, but I am nowhere near there right now. Tomorrow (Christmas Eve!), we have to go to the clinic to discuss all this with the doctors.
My Christmas message to you is to be so very thankful for your own health and that of your loved ones, especially your children. Do not take a single moment for granted. Do not insist on your children sleeping in their own rooms in their own beds. Enjoy every single waking and sleeping moment that you have and hug them very tight, especially right now at this (under normal circumstances for me) most magical and wonderful time of the year. My birthday is on Saturday. Who would have thought last Christmas and my last birthday this is what the following year would hold! Please treasure every moment.