Monday, August 31, 2009

Incredibly Sad News

Unbelievable, goes to show that what is on a blog is not necessarily what is really happening in the home. This single mom went through so much to get China to allow her to adopt Lavender. She had a blog and all of the postings were very happy. Lavender had even had at least one surgery for her cleft lip/palette. She was a very pretty child before and after the surgery. Everything seemed or was portrayed as sunshine and roses.

The mom happens to be African American and China didn't want to approve the adoption supposedly on that reason, according to the mom. She posted requests for help on several different yahoo groups to write on her behalf to allow the adoption to go on. She claimed it was the orphanage director who was putting a stop to it based only on her race. Maybe the real reason they initially refused was due to something they saw in the home study. Maybe Lavender would still be alive and possibly with a new family now had they stuck to their reasons for this case alone. We will never know what the real reason for the initial lack of approval for adoption.

It makes me so sad for the child. The stresses bringing a new child home whether by birth or adoption are great and can strain an already straining family situation. Sometimes families are not truly prepared or as prepared as they thought they were for the challenges. I hope the allegations against her are not true but either way, the child is gone. I wonder where the social worker was on this case? How were other child service investigations ignored for the home study?

By the way, I had lost contact with her and her blog in 2007. I had commented on it though and e-mailed her privately during the surgery for Lavender. Poor Lavender wasn't home even a full year before her death. Link to the story is in the title.

"August 6, 2009
Former Elk Grove resident charged in 3-year-old's death
From Cynthia Hubert
"Police have arrested a former Elk Grove resident and charged her with murder in the death last year of her 3-year-old adoptive daughter.
"Sabrina Banks, 42, called 911 on May 2, 2008 and reported that her daughter Lavender was 'unresponsive,' said Officer Christopher Trim of the Elk Grove Police Department.
"Medical personnel were unable to revive the girl, and pronounced her dead at the scene.

"Lavender had visible injuries that 'were not consistent with an accidental death,' said Trim.
An autopsy report lists the probable cause of death as 'asphyxiation by smothering' and 'multiple blunt force injuries,' according to the Sacramento County Coroner's Office.
Trim said it took detectives more than a year to gather the evidence necessary that led to charging Banks with murder, assault resulting in the death of a child under 8 years of age and endangering the life or health of a child.
"'It was a very long process of interviewing the mother, her friends, checking her history, working with the coroner's office,' he said. The Sacramento County District Attorney's Office issued an arrest warrant for Banks, and she was located in Visalia on Wednesday and taken into custody, said Trim.
"She will be transported to Sacramento County within the next few days, he said.
"Banks had one other child in her Elk Grove home when Lavender's death occurred, and that youngster has been in protective custody since then, Trim said.
"The family had previous involvement with Child Protective Services in Kern County, Sacramento County CPS Director Laura Coulthard previously told The Bee. She did not provide details.
"Trim said he was unaware of any further CPS involvement with Banks."


Everyday Mom Designs said...

Wow, that is soo sad..

Stephe said...


LaLa said...

I too remember her pleas for help on the boards and I followed her blog. I am sooo sad and angry about this!!

I watched a youtube video she had that was only a few weeks before her death..she was so sweet and beautiful!

a little leprechaun said...

That is truly so sad...

MissMeliss said...

wow. that is just awful. :( i feel so sad for that little girl. and angry for her, too. unbelievable.

and things like this put a black mark on adoptive families... and that just makes me mad. of course, it could happen to any family... but for someone who fought so hard to bring her daughter home, why do things like this have to happen? there is no answer for that, of course. except to say, that God may tell us some day.

sending up prayers for the rest of her family and loved ones.


Vivian M said...

This is so tragic. I hope if there are parents out there that are losing hope or feeling strained that they reach out for help.