Saturday, February 27, 2010

Oh No He Didn't!

Oh but he did. Today G and I were at the blue slides when the most unfortunate of events happened, and right now I am not sure to whom it was the most unfortunate of events. You see, there were some kids and three adults at the playground already. The kids ranged in age from 5 yrs up to teenagers. I happened to know the 5 year old because he had actually been in G's daycare class at age 3. Anyway, those kids were playing tag or freeze tag as I knew it, and G was playing on her own. I am not sure if the 5 year old boy was playing or not but anyway, G gets shy and watches for a while first playing on her own until she is more comfortable.

So at one point G was at a "picnic table" within one of the play structures when a 10 year old (maybe older but not by much) went to "hide" near where she was. G and this boy were facing each other (not as in a face off but just toward each other) when I heard him say very loudly, "I HATE Chinese people." Oh, yes, he did! I think I gave myself whiplash for as fast as my head spun in that direction.

I then saw G climbing out of the picnic table so I called her to me and said, "Did someone just say 'I hate Chinese people'?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Was it that boy?" as I pointed in his direction. She said, "Yes." I walked over and confronted the boy. I asked him where his mom was first, then his dad and when he said neither were there I just let him have it. I would have let his parents have it had they been there not just him!

I don't know exactly what I said because the blood was pounding so hard in my ears, that I couldn't hear myself. I know I told him what he said was rude after confirming that he did indeed say what I thought I heard him say; to which he confirmed he did, and immediately apologized for, but I told him sorry wasn't enough. I did make him apologize to G though. I think I told him that was the most racist thing to ever come out of someones mouth. I did not call him a racist or any name for that matter though I was mad enough to throw out some choice words. He seemed shocked and a bit remorseful, but I was still seeing red so I couldn't be sure.

The older teenager came up and asked what happened, and I told her what he said as he again apologized. She took him to the other adults, and I told them what he said. One of the adults told me she would make his dad aware of what he said and that the dad would not be happy about it. I thanked her and told her that I believed that in 5 years we had been home we had never NEVER had that said within our hearing before. Now we have had some weird comments being made but nothing even remotely like that.

Later, before they were leaving I talked again to the lady who happened to be the 5 year old's mom, who knew he was in G's daycare (though not necessarily in her class). She said the offending boy said he meant he didn't like Chinese freeze tag, which they were playing. Of course that was not what he said. I did have a bit of guilt for possibly over reacting until G and I got in the car and she confirmed the comment wasn't "I hate Chinese" or "I hate Chinese tag," but "I hate Chinese people" and that it embarrassed her. I got over the guilt real quick. Now granted he could have said, "I hate Chinese, people" talking to his friends but since I can't see the commas in the air nor did I hear the comma pause, I am pretty sure that was not what he said.

I did call my mom and told her about it because I was so mad, seriously angry and almost in tears. G asked me why he said that, so I explained how sometimes people are really ugly to people they don't know just because of how they look and it is called racist. I told her how I became mama bear and was fierce in protecting her, my baby bear, just like we had talked about last night even. I called my mom back telling her how I had not yet calmed down, and she told me that I needed to go have a coffee or something, heh.

I know I can't protect her all the time. I also know this would happen sooner or later but I wasn't expecting it today! We have had other moments of meanness from school-mates but truly nothing like this from some stranger out of the blue.


Super Mommy said...

Oh my - I bet I can guess where he learned that trash from. I'm sorry G had to be subjected to this boy's racist remark. You sound like you handled it well.

Regina said...

I am sorry that you both had to go through that today. Blessings to you for standing up for G and not just brushing it off as kids being ignorant. I sure hope that boy learned a lesson.

The Byrd's Nest said...

Seems as if your sweet girl has been under attack lately from the food she eats to how she looks. Makes my heart so sad that our kids (of any race) have to hear such things. We are not that popular here with some people because of our color and because our daughter's are Asian....each day it teaches me to try and love people like Jesus would even when they don't love me.

Vivian M said...

Ugh!!!! I sure hope he did not learn that at home! We used to get ignorant, sometimes racist remarks in Fla. when Kerri was really young. Thank goodness we have not encountered that anymore since we moved to Canada.
We have had to explain racism to Kerri after her teacher botched an attempt to teach her class about Martin Luther King Jr.
I am sending Miss G a huge hug. Please tell her we love Chinese people, especially her and Kerri, and that we think she is a very special and beautiful girl.
And as for you, good job for standing up and confronting them! I don't blame you one bit for becoming a Mama bear - I expect no less when it comes to our kids. Huge hugs to you too!

Lisa (Briana's Mom) said...

I'm so sorry that happened to G and to you. I know how the "mama bear" can come out and I am so glad you told that kid how wrong he was. I am sure I would have done the exact thing you did.