Saturday, July 24, 2010

Fears, Fears, Fears

G has some fears. They are quite irrational and driving me crazy. We made a very big mistake by watching only the first 15 mins or so of the cartoon movie Anastasia. Not only was the story inaccurate and seemed to glorify the revolution, it was extremely scary to G. So scary in fact that she has been unable to be alone for any length of time. This means she can't take her shower without me in the bathroom with her, she can't use the potty without me in there, I can't shower without her in my bathroom with me or use the potty. We can't come to my parents anymore and have me on the computer with her in the den watching TV.

To say this is annoying is a major understatement. I can't get away from her at all for any length of time particularly when she is being a difficult demanding child, as she sometimes has a tendency to be. Sometimes I need a little time to myself and can't get it. Like right now at my parents while I try to apply for jobs on line, I can't get her to give me even a few minutes without talking, begging, wallowing on me, sitting on my lap, crying or just annoying the P-diddle out of me. Seriously, I wish this post was a recording to hear her because words aren't doing it justice and this is a 24/7 issue. I am so sick of this fear and have no answer. Oh and if it wasn't the character Rasputin from Anastasia it would be some other character from a movie or made up imagination.

Do I sound like I am whinging? Sorry, sometimes it is just difficult to be so needed and not in a good way. She seems to have lost her independence to this fear.

1 comment:

Vivian M said...

Kerri went through phases with her fears. We thought it was mostly attachment related, and chose to give in and reassure her. We felt that since her needs had not been met as a baby, she needed to know she could depend on us to drop everything and be there to comfort her. She quickly outgrew this, but still comes over for a hug every now and then.
The imaginary monsters were a control mechanism, during the day they were blamed for anything she did wrong. And at night they were the reason she was afraid to sleep in her room.
This will pass, but Miss G needs you now, even though it may be inconvenient to you. I gave up on "me time" temporarily and just brought Kerri in the bathroom with me. But I would also explain to her the concept of privacy so she would understand why we wanted "alone time" in the bathroom, for example.
If this keeps up, there may be an underlying issue that you may not be aware of that is really behind her insecurity. I would ask her about her interactions at camp, school, home, grandparents, etc to find out if there is something that is truly scaring her.
In the meantime, sending you hugs and hope you find the strength and patience to deal with her constant fears. :o(