Then I saw on the pizza dough yeast packet a 30 min recipe instead of the well over an hour the machine's recipe will take. And I added cold water because maybe other people know that when 1 1/3 cups of water is requested it is suppose to be warm, but unless it specifically calls for it I don't. I thought about the need for warm water after I started the machine. I suppose this will be for dinner which would be about the right time for it to be finished.
I am such a chicken in the kitchen, so afraid of messing something up and wasting it. Thus my very lack of kitchen skills. I don't even have the basic skills. Sure I can boil water, boil and egg, fry a sausage patty and bake pre-packaged foods but anything from scratch or anything that requires a lot of ingredients, well, I am supremely intimidated. Actually I think G has stretched me because you know she has to eat healthy.
I have been rejected by Toys R Us. Yes I applied for a job and received the rejection e-mail today. Also, the school where I interviewed the Thursday before Memorial Day has still not contacted me with a yay or nay. The temp position with the survey company that was interested in my computer skills hasn't contacted me either.
Anyway, I called the insurance company and stopped the withdrawal for August. I think I get a 2 month grace period (I will need to make back payments when or if I get a job). While on hold waiting for the answer about what I can or can't do about the payments, I totally broke down crying. The girl came back on the phone and asked to pray for me after explaining the 2 month grace period. This is a Christian based ministry so the prayer was not unexpected and like a warm blanket placed on a cold and weary soul.
Calling them took all my emotional energy, but I need to call the other creditors to let them know I can make no other payments on anything next month. I just am not sure I can get through it today.
This morning at 7 the alarm went off. It is set to wake by music stationed on Klove, Christian music. G didn't get up, and neither did I. We slept for 2 hours while the music played over us. I am not sleeping at night so when I am asleep I wish to stay that way. G doesn't understand why I expect her to go to sleep but I don't. It is very difficult to explain to her that my not sleeping isn't a matter of my not wanting to but a matter of inability to do so. My nerves are frayed and I think I am losing a bit of weight which is not necessarily a bad thing but the reason behind it isn't the best.
Casting Crowns song Praise You in the Storm is on right now. The words are like a balm to my weary soul. I know God is good all the time, and I have no idea why this valley/trial. That is all I can manage right now. I know though I am not forgotten by Him, He loves me and I stand in His resurrection.