Monday, January 27, 2014

Control

Nothing new to report in the way of my mom.  2014 isn't turning out to be a very healthy year for a lot of folks I know.  Between the stomach bug, flu and broken bones, folks seem to be dropping (figuratively) like flies. 

G played basketball this past Saturday as well.  They are 0-3 and the scores are simply embarrassing.  Somehow G ends up on a team with the most players who have never played before or are extremely short.  She got both this time.  Seems the other teams are just so much taller.  Yes they are all that much better than G's team too.  Losing builds character though, right?

G and I had a come to Jesus moment on Saturday but as of today, though things are better, she claims to not remember anything I said.  Convenient, right?  She has been extremely disrespectful lately, accusing me of not caring when she mentions or shows me something.  I apparently don't give her the reaction she is looking for so the accusation.  Even declaring herself a better mom than me and that I am jealous of her (yeah that got no response from me).  Finally, after a long conversation on Saturday I pointed out that her comments are more about control and wanting to be the mom to which she agreed than actually trying to hurt me.  She wants to be my equal.  I told her that her rebellion is not new but can be traced back to Genesis 3. 

Adam and Eve wished to be equal with God knowing good and evil.  I pointed out that her wishing to be in authority over me was not a sin against me but against God, Himself.  We talked about the Prodigal Son, Luke 15 and how even his rebellion was about control; rebellion against his father and ultimately against God.  I even told her about how I have a need to be in control still to this day.  I told her some of the situations that I have failed in because of my need to be in ultimate control.  I pointed out that we can be in control of our choices and decision, but not of the outcomes or consequences of those decisions.

In the end of the discussion, I left her to deal with God on her own.  I gave her a prayer of repentance and explained what that meant and headed off to cook supper.  She still is still wanting to be the parent and in complete authority, but it hasn't been as outright and blatant as it has been since sometime last week.  Everything comes to a head eventually doesn't it?  I can see how having a husband might be particularly beneficial since there might not be a leadership gap that she is trying to claim.  Of course it could be really bad as I haven't a good history of choosing good men for relationships, thus the reason I remain single.

1 comment:

Vivian M said...

I have a good husband and that doesn't make a difference! Kerri still struggles with control and manipulation, I think it has a lot more to do with her beginnings than with our parenting skills. In our case we have to be patient, she cannot verbalize what is really bothering her, so this is her way of trying to deal. Therapy has helped a bit, and structure is very important for us. Changes are not easy and can be very stressful. Good luck, I think we will both need it when the teenage years come along, ha!