Thursday, March 24, 2016

What We've Been Up To

Friday I took the day off because I had been asked to read at a funeral of a class member.  I normally don't go to funerals, but because I was asked to read I did.  G on Wed jumped weird on her foot at school so I took Friday afternoon to get her an x-ray of her foot.  It wasn't broken but sprained.

Last Saturday I took my mom and child to the new outlet mall near us.  I was able to get G's summer Sunday clothes and what she will wear to Easter.  This is the last summer for shorts.  Next summer will have to be pants or a skirt.

Mom did pretty well.  The weather decided to turn cold again particularly last Saturday and we froze running from one store to the other.  So freezing to us is 60 just so you know.  Mom walks slower now.  Her conversation doesn't really make sense to us much so she stays quiet mostly.  But we had a great Saturday and dad was able to mow his whole yard which takes roughly 6 hours.  I was glad to give him that time without worry.

G decided she wanted to plan basil so we purchased two hanging pots, dirt and seeds for her to plant which she did on Sunday afternoon.  Then it got even colder.  I hope the seeds come in and didn't get frozen or get hit with frost.  Our planting season is technically April to July for basil.  

This week is Holy Week.  Tonight, for the first time, our church held a Passover Seder.  It was very nice.  Tomorrow night is our Good Friday Service.  We didn't have a typical Maundy Thursday service.  

Today at work the head of my department offered me one of his vacation days for tomorrow, and I accepted gratefully.  I am off work tomorrow.  He said he wasn't accruing any more because he had too many hours, so he offered tomorrow's hours to me!!  He said it would be a very slow and quiet day.  I agree it has been a very quiet week.

Yesterday I had to take G to school because I completely overslept by 30 mins.  I woke up at what I thought was 5:35 which would have been before the alarm went off except I misread and it said 6:35.  Yea! ME. Of course I didn't realize what had happened even after I heard the 6:30 program on the radio.  I couldn't refocus to the actual time.

Anyway, I apparently changed the alarm last Friday night and forgot to reset it.  It wasn't going to go off at all.  I didn't set the alarm Sunday night (forgot) and overslept by like 10 mins, but I realized I had done it so it didn't really affect much.  Tuesday I woke up 15 mins before normal and just got out of bed.  Wed. not so much.  I was an hour and 6 mins late to work.

At G's school they studied the scientific method so today they put it into practice with a murder mystery.  G was the medieval farmer's wife whose daughter was killed by wolves.  This is the outfit I pulled together with a set of rosary beads which she wore today.  They were out of school half day and off tomorrow and Monday.  

Dad said that tomorrow he will bring the big mower in to mow my yard for the first time this year.  He got my mower in shape for the summer.  Mom will come with him and maybe we will do something.  I offered to go out to the house while he mowed but he said he would bring her into town.

So that is all for now.  I am off to bed to enjoy a day off work.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Shopping With My Mom

Last night G and I attended the free hockey game we had won previously.  The team won in a shoot out after the game tied at 3-3.  It was a good game.  We got another t-shirt thrown to us.

I set my clocks ahead on Friday so I would be able to sleep before losing an hour.  So when we got home the time reflected 11:30 and this morning when I woke up I had slept about 12 hours.  It was so very nice.

Today I took G to buy a rain coat.  Yes, I waited until the rain is almost ready to move out and bought us both a rain coat.  I had G call my dad to see if my mom wanted to go with us.  She was so eager that she had her purse on her shoulders when we got there.

While driving back to big city mom asked me who that man was at her house.  I basically spent the day reaffirming that was her husband of over 50 years.  Even when we got home she didn't know who he was.  His face was away from us and I pointed to him and said, "Do you recognize him?"

She said, "I can't see his face."  When he turned she did know him but not 3 seconds later while I walked her away she said, "He isn't the one I love."

I knew I needed to get her today because she hasn't been able to swim this week, and due to the rain she wasn't able to go outside and work.  She needed a diversion and my dad needed a break.  I picked up some silk glove liners for her hands.  She chews on her fingers.  Dad laughed at me for buying them, but they help some I think.  We have to remind her to wear them, but we have to remind her to stop chewing on her fingers too.

The rest of her life will be reminding her over and over who we are or who she is or where she is until she can no longer speak.  We are watching her fade.

G and I had lunch at Newks and took mom with us.  She wasn't hungry at all but G and I hadn't had lunch since we had breakfast so close to lunch time.  Mom had already eaten before we picked her up.  When we walked into the restaurant it wasn't raining but before we left it was, hard.  I ran out to the car to get the jackets we had just bought and an umbrella; then, I promptly fell inside the restaurant from slippery shoes meeting slick stone floor.  SO VERY EMBARRASSED.  I will probably be sore tomorrow.

Anyway, I want to get to bed early so I don't lose an hour.  Laundry has to be done too since we played the day away.

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Something I Don't Want to Forget

The other night, I forget which and I suppose it doesn't really matter, G and I were talking about her conversations with friends.  One night she and a friend were discussing their families' unfortunate relations.  The friend started and I suppose asked G if she had any stories to share.  G said, "I have one sad one."  I thought, oh no, here we go, but she discussed my unknown cousin who had been adopted at birth before any of us were born.  Then she talked about another cousin's situation.

Funnily enough she didn't mention her own sad beginnings so I asked her on this particular night why she didn't say anything while talking to her friend.  She said, "I didn't think it was sad."

I was a bit relieved that she didn't personally view her coming to our family as a sad happening but it did open up questions.  She asked me where she was found if in a box or by the side of the road or whatever.  I told her what I was told and suggested that it may or may not be true because it may or may not be true.  She already knows that the only true date we have is her finding day and that they estimated her birthday.  She said, "I could have been born on Feb 12?"

Why that day I don't know, but I said, "No, you were a month old so they gave you a date close to that many days back."  Then I told her everything I was told about how she was arrived at the orphanage and that she didn't stay there long due to it being a Half the Sky sponsored orphanage.  She asked if the orphanage was a poor one that ignored and neglected the babies.  I told her that the HTS received monies from the US and EU so that there was no neglect.  That HTS teaches early developmental stages and how to have the nannies help the children reach them.  Also, I told her about the foster program of which she was a part.

She was fostered, but for how long I am not sure.  I told her we weren't given information about the foster mom, but we had a picture of them together (she has seen it, and it is on display).  She wanted to know why I don't have the foster family's info, and I said because we weren't allowed to have it.

She always accuses herself of being a fat baby due to the photos from the referral pack, 3 or more layers of clothing will do that to you.  She was nothing of the sort.  I told her my assessment of her early pictures and in particular her "look."  She has a look of suspicion on her face, one look of being suspicious of everyone.  She never smiled in the pictures.

She said, "Is that normal?"  I said that normal babies smiled for photos earlier than she did.  I pointed out the picture I have of me as a baby smiling.  To qualify normal, this is a term defined by her as babies born in one family, just the average joe type of family, with no trauma so to speak.  Her word, normal, means the median.

She said, "Yeah but you had a family."  She said, "No wonder I was suspicious.  I never had a permanent family then."

I said, "I know.  I know that is why you were so suspicious then.  I pointed out that she still looks at people like that though as though she doesn't trust them."  I see the look everyday at some point.  She was a bit concerned that she gives the look to family.  Sometimes she does but not to her grandparents that I have seen. I was very proud of her to make that connection to her story and that she wanted to know about it.  I am also glad to know she doesn't actually view her story as an "unfortunate relation" type story.

Anyway, it was a conversation I wish to record and remember for fear I will be like my mom and forget it all.